I’VEALMOST DIED SEVEN
TIMES.I love walking,
especially in cities. And
almostdying is a byproduct
of walking in India. Trai c
rules are mystical concepts,
and footpaths are co-working
spaces for hawkers, cows,
drunks, and the homeless.
I feel no malice towards any
of them, because they rely
on these footpaths for their
sustenance; all I use the
footpath for is walking.
Four of my near-deaths
occurred because four
different bikers, with their
headlights off , decided to ride
on the wrong side of the road,
and I was arrogant enough
to assume that my life was
more important than their
Dhoom 6rejection letters.
Another time, I almost fell
into a manhole, which had a
cover so weak it could’ve been
a Marie biscuit. As I stepped
on it, the cookie crumbled,
giving the rats in the sewerssomething good to munch
on with their tea. Yet another
time, I made the mistake of
touching a metal barricade
(meant to keep pedestrians
safe from trai c), which was
connected to an open wire
(meant to keep electricity safe
inside). I manifested my inner
Thor very briefl y, though I
do remember my hammer
trembling in fear. (That was
an innuendo, in case it wasn’t
clear.) And then, of course,
there was a time when a
car almost ran over me on a
footpath, which was obviously
just an unpaid parking lot.
I cannot confi rm or deny if the
driver’s name was Salman.
I still walk constantly
in India. I’m a pahadi from
Nainital—walking is part
of my ancestral legacy. I wish
they had left me a palatial
home, but having restless feet
is far more exciting. There’s
nothing more enjoyable than
being in a walking city. In fact,Sorabh Pant
Stand-up Comedian
PEOPLE & PLACESCOMEDIAN SORABH PANT EXPLAINS WHY
WALKING IN A CITY IS HIS FAVOURITE FORM OF
TRAVEL. OR, HE JUST WANTS YOU TO INVITE
HIM TO THE CITIES LISTED BELOW.I’M WALKING THERE
CLOCKWISE: COURTESY OF SORABH PANT; SHUTTERSTOCK; NEWSCOM/ALAMYPedestrians cross a
street in New York.Surviving the pothole-laden
streets of Indian metros is
an adventure in itself.
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