ReadersDigestAustraliaNewZealand-April2018

April• 2018 | 71

READER’S DIGEST

it’s a serious operation.” Inevitably,
all Mum focused on was a frighten-
ing prognosis which, as it turns out,
wasn’t even accurate for her speciic
condition (yes, I Googled it later).

ONCE YOU START LISTENING OUT
FOR IT,it’s staggering how regu-
larly people respond to another per-
son’s ill health by talking extensively
about themselves, or someone else
they once knew; some-
one with a completely
diferent condition, who
more often than not
experienced a negative
outcome.
In the past few weeks,
Mum’s mates and col-
leagues have regaled
her with stories about
their Aunty Trisha,
who required rapid fol-
low-up surgery; their
neighbour, who caught
a superbug and never walked again;
their grandmother, who had some-
thing similar – well not that similar at
all really, a heart attack, but still, it’s
all surgery, isn’t it? And yes, OK, she
was 96, and yes, she’d chain-smoked
for 50 years, but still, here’s the point,
her recovery period was so strenuous
... and on it goes. Psychological theft.
It’s really not that diicult to think
of alternative things they could have
said that would be equally true, but
more beneicial to hear. “he special-
ists in our hospitals are among the

best in the world. It’s amazing what

they can do these days!” – that’s a

good one. “You’re going to feel much

better afterwards. It’ll be a new lease

of life for you!” – that’s another. “Is

there anything I can do to help?”

• that’s always a welcome offer.
  Positive suggestions, rather than
  compounding the negative thoughts
  inevitably circling around inside the
  head of someone who’s already anx-
  ious about surgery, are
  all that’s required.

I’M NOT SUGGESTING

PATIENTSshould be

sheltered from the re-

ality of the risks they’re

taking. But if the deci-

sion to have surgery has

already been taken, or

can’t really be avoided,

what’s the purpose of

highlighting the draw-

backs? To put it another

way – when our pipes burst, we want

our friends to recommend a good

plumber, rather than tell us about the

torrential flood they saw on the TV

news. When we’re at the GP, we prefer

nurses who say, “You may feel a prick-

ing sensation”, to those who say, “his

is going to hurt”.

And when we’re facing a scary and

precarious medical treatment, the re-

sults of which are entirely out of our

own control, surely it’s just common

sense to say, “Get well soon, and how

can I help?”

If surgery can’t

be avoided,

what’s the

purpose of

highlighting

the drawbacks?