Reader’s Digest Australia & New Zealand – May 2019

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May• 2019 | 55

ILLUSTRATIONS: GETTY IMAGES; CARTOON: HARLEY SCHWADRON


Nailing the Job
The village blacksmith finally
found an apprentice willing
to work long, hard hours. The
blacksmith instructed the boy,
“When I take the horseshoe out
of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil,
and when I nod my head, you hit
it with this hammer.”
The apprentice did just as he
was told. Now he’s the village
blacksmith.
ValleyBugler.com

SILENT WITNESS
My parents sent me to mime camp
one summer. I still can’t talk about it.
reddit.com

TRUE COLOURS
Is maroon really just nav y red?
@Mezaphy

RUNNING THROUGH THE VEINS
I did some research, and it turns
out I’m super Irish. Even my blood
type is O apostrophe.
BRIAN KILEY, COMEDIAN

ILL FEELING
I went to the doctor and he said,
“You’ve got hypochondria.”
I said, “Not that as well!”
TIM VINE, COMEDIAN

Something Fishy
Give a man a fish and he eats
for a day. But teach a man to
fish and he’ll be like, “Um,
actually, “I know how to fish,
I’ll show you.”
And you’ll wish you had your
old fish so you could throw it at
him. APARNA NANCHERLA, COMEDIAN

DINER: Waiter, waiter, what’s
wrong with this fish?
WAITER: Long time no sea, sir.
From the internet

MATT: What do you get when
you cross a fishing lure with
a gym sock?
RICK: I don’t know. What?
MATT: A hook, line and stinker!
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