Mens_HealthUSA_December_2016

130 MensHealth.com | December 2016

Bryan Mullennix/Getty Images (tree), Vasakna/Getty Images (man), Becky Rockwood/Getty Images (child), Jan Kornstaedt/Gallery St

ock (Vader)

1 

Calling someone a “snow-

flake” because it suggests

that they are from a snowbound

state, not because you value

them as unique.

15

Asking “Out late last

night?” just because a

guy didn’t shave, has blood-

shot eyes, and decided to wear

sweatpants to work.

8 

Saying “Happy holidays”

instead of a proper,

historically correct Christmas

greeting, like “All hail the mighty

Lord of M isr ule, host of the

Feast of Fools and emperor of

all revelers.”

9 

Pronouncing someone’s

name without acknowledg-

ing the umlaut.

10

Vehemently denying

the fact that such things

as micro-aggressions exist.

11

Knowing the difference

between “your” and

“you’re” but still mixing them up

because you’re in a hurry and

i t ’s just social media.

12

Doing an impression

of Chevy Chase from any

of his movies without adding,

“But of course, addiction is no

laughing matter.”

13

Posting a Facebook

tribute to a recently

deceased rock star even though

you haven’t actually listened to

him since high school.

14

Whispering into a

small child’s ear,

“O ur gover nment is r un

by lizard people wear ing

human skin disguises

who want to hur t your

mommy and daddy”

while dressed up

as Santa Claus.

The List

21 New Micro-

Aggressions to

Avoid in 2017

16

When introducing your-

self to a woman you find

attractive, forgetting to imme-

diately apologize for your sub-

conscious role in reinforcing

the patriarchal conspiracy, and

then apologizing for man-

splaining the patriarchy

to her, and then running

back to your apartment

to sit alone in the dark

because a monster like

you shouldn’t be allowed

to roam freely among

the innocent.

17

Peeing behind a bush

or tree that isn’ t ex plici tl y

gender neutral.

18

Texting “LOL” when you

barely cracked a smile.

19

Using the word “moist” in

any context.

20

Calling your cellmate

“Tiny” even though

he weighs 350 pounds and

bends iron bars for fun.

21

Going to a Star Wars pre-

miere dressed as Han

Solo or Dar th Vader, forcing

other audience members to be

reminded of their complicated

relationships with their fathers.

2 

Telling someone they have

the star quality of Corey

Feldman on the Today show.

3 

Singing out loud that annoy-

ingly catchy pop song that

you haven’t been able to get out

of your head all day.

4 

Threatening to move to

Canada after the election

but then totally not moving. You

owe Ottawa an apology.

5 

Referring to large earthen-

ware containers as “jugs.”

6 

Using hurtful words and

phrases like “lazy,” “unmo-

tivated,” or “maybe it’s time you

moved out of my basement.”

7 

Interacting with your dog

without acknowledging your

opposable thumbs privilege.