Mens_HealthUSA_December_2016

96 MensHealth.com | December 2016

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WE STILL FOUND INSPIRATION IN THIS DOWNER OF A YEAR.

1 / Michelle Obama We’re still in
denial that this was her last year as
First Lady. During her time in D.C.,
she was not only a huge proponent
of fitness and nutrition for kids but
also had the most jacked arms in
White House history. (Still does, of
course.) It’s about time we had a
leader with tickets to the gun show.

2 / John Oliver The host of HBO’s
satirical news show Last Week
Tonight created a fake debt-collection
company and bought $15 million
in medical debt from nearly 9,000
people in Texas. The punch line:
Oliver forgave it all. Every last cent of
debt. It was, says Oliver, “the largest
one-time giveaway in television
show history.” Sorry, Oprah. Leave
it to a British comedian to show us
what true generosity looks like.

3 / Travis Rudolph While visiting a
middle school with his teammates,
the Florida State wide receiver saw
an autistic kid sitting by himself at
lunch and decided to sit down and

join him. A photo of the unlikely

pair went viral online, showing that

small gestures can make a big differ-

ence. Since his date with Rudolph,

the kid has eaten lunch “at a table

full of girls,” according to his mother.

4 / Abbey D’Agostino After the

Olympic distance runner from Tops-

field, Massachusetts, collided with

a New Zealand competitor during a

5,000-meter run, she paused to help

her fallen rival to her feet, yelling,

“Get up, get up! We have to finish

this!” D’Agostino crossed the finish

line with a torn ACL, but in our

book she’s an Olympic champion.

5 / Diego A 100-year-old tortoise

on one of the Galapagos Islands

had so much sex that he saved his

own species from extinction. He’s

the proud papa of an estimated

800; 40 percent of these have been

released to the wild. Coming soon,

Diego’s dating self-help book: “Unless

You’d Rather Go Extinct,” and Other

Brilliant Pickup Lines.

Guaranteed Way

to Get Laid in 2016

Scoring tickets to

Hamilton.

Guaranteed Way

to Get Into a Loud

Argument About

Sexual Consent

With Your Wife

Scoring tickets to a

Cosby stand-up show.

Worst Indignities

Endured by

Lab Rats

In their selfless pur-

suit of knowledge to

help us make health-

ier decisions, they:

breathed polluted

Beijing air and got fat

because of it; were

exposed to radio cell-

phone radiation; got

stoned and then

accused of being lazy;

and took anti-anxiety

medicine, which made

them less empathetic

to other rats’ problems.

Best Wager We

Wish We’d Made

Leicester City, the Bad

News Bears of Euro-

pean soccer, were

given 5,000-to-1 odds

of becoming Premier

League champions,

and then they went

and won it all anyway.

The only other 5,000-

to-1 odds made by the

same oddsmaker went

to Kim Kardashian

becoming president

in 2020. Gentlemen,

place your bets!

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Kirby Lee/USA Today Sports (D’Agostino); GETTY IMAGES: Paul Morigi (Obama), Joe Robbins (Rudolph),

Skip O’Donnell (money and pills), Michael Chen (tortoise), Prosado (debt pill), Mike Coppola (Oliver), _ba_

(stethoscope), Dimitris Stephanides (apple), Flyfloor (fitness items)

96 MensHealth.com | December 2016