“M
y first memory of
cunnilingus was
fantasising about
going down on my
friend’s older sister when I was 13.
When I started having sex at 18, it was
what got me off.
“Sex has never been about my per-
sonal release. I don’t care whether I get
laid or not. I get incredible joy from
women taking pleasure in their bodies.
“The majority of my friends are
women and they’ve often complained
to me about guys not wanting to go
down on them. So I figured advertising
it on Tinder was just good marketing.
“I set up the profile in February last
year and wrote a confident-as-all-hell
profile message: ‘Average-looking guy.
Obsessed with cunnilingus. Excep-
tional at it. Don’t care about sex, nudity,
anything else. Just need to eat. When-
ever. Wherever.’
“Over the last year I’ve had 120
matches. Luckily, I have a decent sense
of self-esteem. I couldn’t do this other-
wise – I’d freak out every time I went
down on a woman, because I’m making
a big claim saying I’m an expert.
“Ten of the women I’ve matched
with have translated into sexual
encounters. Their ages range from 18to 42, and they’ve worked in all kinds of
professions: executives, the entertain-
ment industry, administration and HR.
“The first girl I met up with was
18 years old. She’d been doing the
rounds on Tinder and told me she’d
given eight guys blow jobs. Not one had
reciprocated. I think it is the height of
hypocrisy for a dude to expect a woman
to go down on them and then not be
willing to reciprocate. From a purely
personal perspective, I think why
wouldn’t you? It’s awesome!
“I usually meet up with the women
at a pub close to my apartment. I’m not
sexually aggressive, I don’t want to
make them feel uncomfortable or that
there is any expectation. It’s entirely up
to them if we go back to my place.
“Sometimes it leads to more than
just oral sex. Other times not. One
woman messaged me at 7pm, we met
an hour later and I was going down on
her by 9pm. She’d left by 9.30pm after
she came, without ever touching me. It
was great and the easiest one.
“I met up with a 40-year-old
woman who didn’t follow through with
anything sexual. She thought it was a
trick because she couldn’t understand
that someone would want to purely
pleasure her. This is absurd as it’sI explain how I’d put a leather collar on them before
undressing them. Then I’d start binding with something
simple like a chest harness, which is a 10m piece of rope
that goes under the breast and around the back. It looks
as if it’s a bra made of rope. This gives the women
a chance to decide if they want to proceed.
“Three of the women did. One was
a lawyer, another worked in admin and the
third was a marketing executive. They were
all first-time rope bunnies. With each one,
I chose a nice restaurant to meet them
for dinner. It’s important to meet in a public
place to see if we connect and so they feel
safe. I make it clear they owe me nothing and
if they want to walk out at any point they can. I stress to
them to tell me if they feel nervous. To do something like
this you have to have trust and open communication.
“Some riggers aren’t looking for a sexual experience,
they’re more into the art of bondage. For me, it’s a sexual
thing. Once the women have been tied up, I use toys ormy hands to stimulate them. Often the women have
multiple orgasms, and so far it has always ended with
intercourse while they’re tied up.
“Women who I have been with have said bondage is
a way to quiet their mind. Shibari is like meditation.
It takes the rigger and the rope bunny to
a place where time and space dissolves.
What I’m looking for is to get them to give
themselves over to absolute pleasure.
“Sessions generally last around four
hours. After we’ve finished, they usually just
crash, because they’ve had such a huge rush
of adrenaline and hormones.
“I offer them fresh fruit and chocolate
for a sugar boost and ensure they drink lots of cold water.
I’m very loving and caring afterwards. There’s a sense of
bonding because you’ve shared such an intense experi-
ence. However, I’m not looking for a relationship and
I make this clear from the start. I want someone to have
fun with, but I want to share that in a profound way.”THE CUNNILINGUS CHAMPION
Aaron*, 29, lives in Melbourne. He works in corporate communicationspredominantly the desired outcome for
men: you get a blow job or have inter-
course until you come. But if you
reverse that dynamic it can feel com-
pletely alien to some women.
“I have had a couple of women that
I just couldn’t bring to orgasm despite
trying for an hour. One woman said it
just wasn’t very good. The truth was
neither of us was feeling it. I suspended
my profile for a while after that.
“The interesting thing about
Tinder is you’ve got a whole bunch of
people saying, ‘I don’t want sex, I want
a relationship.’ The reality is a lot of
people do just want sex. What women
don’t want is to be treated as dispos-
able. I’ve become friends with half the
women that I’ve met. I don’t ever want
it to be impersonal.”“Women who
I have been
with say
bondage is like
meditation”marieclaire.com.au 81FLORIAN SOMMET/TRUNKARCHIVE.COM/SNAPPER MEDIA. *NAME HAS BEEN CHANGED