WORDS BY JULIE VADNAL. STOCKSYSex Q&A
No-BS responses to questions you can only ask Cosmo
The less sex
I have, the less
I seem to want it.
What’s wrong
w ith me?I’m not sure
what to do with
my guy’s ‘jewels’
when I’m down
there. Can I
ignore them?What exactly is
a golden shower,
and do people
really do that?Nothing! It’s normal for
desire to dip when you’re
not getting it on regularly,
explains Osmo Kontula, a
professor at the Population
Research Institute of the
Family Federation of Finland.
His research found that 54
per cent of women who get
it on once a month or less
experience few sexual urges.
But only 16 per cent of
women who get busy at
least twice a week say their
libido is dragging. That’s in
part because your brain sees
orgasms as rewards, says
Kontula – and who wouldn’t
want more of those? To give
your desire a reboot, find
hot ways to work sex into
your busy schedule a little
more frequently, like sending
your guy an email invite to
a weekly meeting (‘location:
your bed’). And because you
were probably wondering,
no, masturbating won’t have
the same effect.Sure, you could ignore his
testicles if you really, really
want to, but keep in mind
that they can be major
pleasure centres and learning
how to handle them would
likely blow his mind. Start
simply, and focus on his
scrotum (the sac of skin
containing the boys), says
sexologist and relationship
expert Emily Morse, host
of the Sex With Emily podcast.
Gently – and we mean gently!- roll the skin between your
fingertips, or give it a few
licks with your tongue f lat.
Another trick that’ll have
him doing a happy dance:
when you’re hanging around
down there during a beej,
cup ’em gently in one hand
while you slowly pull them
away from his body, then
move them back towards it,
which increases sensitivity.
Well, the technical term
is urophilia, and yes, some
people actually do get turned
on by urinating on others,
being urinated on, or even
watching others urinate.
It’s pretty uncommon, but
the, ahem, urge can stem
from a few things, such as
a broader interest in BDSM
or just a basic wish to try
something new and taboo,explains Justin Lehmiller,
director of the social
psychology graduate program
at Ball State University in
the US. If your partner hints
that he or she is down for a
pee party and you know you
are definitely not, speak up:
‘You should be clear about
your own sexual boundaries
and say no to anything that
makes you uncomfortable,’
says Lehmiller. ‘But try to
respect that different people
are into different things.’ Or
if it’s something you want to
try, bring it up outside the
bedroom – and the bathroom,
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