Will my vag
get tighter if I
don’t have sex
for a while?We get that telling you to
relax about losing your V
card is kind of like telling
the Hulk to ‘ just chill, man’.
Your mind might be full of
questions (Will I be decent
at this? Is it going to feel
OK?), but hitting mute on
that internal monologue can
help you focus on pleasure,
says sex therapist Ian Kerner,
author of She Comes First.
If you haven’t already, prep
for the event with some self-
touching to learn what turns
you on. And when the time
comes, don’t be scared to be
an active participant. ‘The
expression lose your virginity
feels passive,’ says Kerner.
‘Treat it more like a dance
that you’re leading.’ After
all, it’s his first time with
you too – he’ll need a bit of
guidance to get you off.Try this twist on traditional
69 from Susan Block, author
of The Bonobo Way. Have
your guy lie down on his
back with his head near the
edge of the bed. Stand on
the f loor facing him, with
one leg by each of his ears,
so his face is in your happy
place. Then bend at your
waist and start kissing him
upside down, Spider-Man-
style, slowly smooching your
way down to his penis. Since
you’re on top, you get to be
the one who controls the pace
of the BJ, says Block, while
being pleasured in return.
Win-win!If you’re a healthy woman in
your twenties or thirties, no- even if you have been super
busy... not getting busy. ‘The
vagina is a f lexible, pliable
organ,’ says ob-gyn Dr Tami
Rowen, an assistant professor
at the University of California
at San Francisco. ‘It doesn’t
get tighter if you don’t use it.’
If, however, you’re feeling
uncomfortable pressure or
tearing during sex, see your
gyno. The muscles around
your pelvic f loor could be
tensing up, a side effect of
doing tons of core workouts
like barre or yoga (not always
a bad thing – unless it causes
issues down below!). Deep,
breathing exercises can help
the situation. Or it could be
dermatitis (inf lammation of
the skin), in which case you’ll
need meds.What’s a
comfy new way
my BF and I
can give each
other oral at the
same time?Sex Q&A
No-BS responses to questions you can only ask Cosmo
I’m 26 years
old and still a
virgin. Any
tips for the
first time?148 COSMOPOLITAN SEPTEMBER 2017