30 http://www.business-spotlight.de 2/2014TIP 2 Engage withthe message
Listening is much more than hear-
ing. It requires a lot of concentration
and a commitmentto understand
meaning. We have to engage with
messages that may seem confusing, ir-
relevant or simply wrong. The key to
doing this is to stay active and create
an open conversation that is interest-
ing for both people. Allow others to
connect to their own messages and
help them to express important ideas.
At the same time, keep yourself in-
terested in the conversation. For ex-
ample:You say:
nHow did you manage to do that?
This question gets the other person to
talk about their competence.You say:
nIt must have been a great experience.
You can engage with the message by
making positive statements.You say:
nCan I just come back to what you
said about...?
You can show interest by referring to
an earlier part of the conversation.You say:
nSo does that mean that I can...?
Questions can help you understand
how the message applies to you.TIP 3 Listen to connect
If you ask people why we should lis-
ten to others, the first answer is usu-
ally “to get information”. This atti-
tude is understandable, but it reflects
a transactional approach to human
relations and business, in which peo-
ple matter to the extent that they
help us. But as listeners, we also need
to build relationships. The easiest
way to do this is to find things thatambiguous [Äm(bIgjuEs]mehrdeutig, unklar
clarify (sth.) [(klÄrEfaI] etw. klären, klar-
stellen
commitment Engagement; hier:
[kE(mItmEnt] Bereitschaft
contradict sb. jmdm. wider-
[)kQntrE(dIkt] sprechen
dumb [dVm] dumm
engage with sth. sich auf etw. ein-
[In(geIdZ wID] lassen
get on well (with sb.) sich gut (mit
[)get Qn (wel (wID)]UK jmdm.) verstehen
insight [(InsaIt] Einblick
let’s face it machen wir uns
[)lets (feIs It] nichts vor
sympathy [(sImpETi] Anteilnahme, Ver-
ständnis
tangible [(tÄndZEb&l] greifbar
technique [tek(ni:k] [wg. Aussprache]we have in common. Most
people like it when others
agree with them or at least
have similar views and expe-
riences. For example:
nYes, I agree. It was a good
meeting.
nI’ve been to Moscow a few
times, too. It’s a great city,
isn’t it?
nI’ve also worked with Sally.
We got on very welltogether.TIP 4 Listen to learn
Let’s face it: some people are
simply difficult to listen to.
They either spend all their
time telling you how great they are or
they demand sympathyby talking
about their constant problems. They
may give us too much information or
confuse us with too little explanation.
One useful technique with such
people is to “listen to learn”. Every-
one can teach us something: either
tangiblefacts and skills or insights
into human behaviour. Every conver-
sation is therefore an opportunity to
understand another person. For ex-ample, you may experience (and ex-
press) surprise at a different perspec-
tive or become curious about the rea-
sons for someone’s behaviour:
nI hadn’t thought of it that way.
nWhy did you decide to do it that way?
I wouldn’t have thought of that.
Listeners who want to learn avoid
contradictingothers by saying things
such as, “Yes, but...”. Instead, they
clearly show that they are interested
and curious.TIP 5 Clarifyregularly
We often think we understand what
people are saying, but how can we be
sure? For example, what do words
like “difficult”, “expensive” or “ur-
gent” really mean? They are relative,
of course. But almost all words can be
ambiguous. Do all of us mean the
same thing when we use words like
“leadership”, “quality” or “agree-
ment”? It may feel strange to ask
what seem to be dumbquestions. ButBUSINESS SKILLS LISTENINGIn touch: listening is
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