Some Basic Background 27
sex, whereas men only need about one to two minutes of foreplay.
3) Women are auditory and feeling. They want touch and romance
and are stimulated through their ears (i.e., sweet words). Men are
visual and want sex. They are stimulated through their eyes (i.e.,
erotic images). 4) Only 36 percent of women wanted sex with the
lights on. Seventy-six percent of men wanted sex with the lights
on. 5) When a man sees a woman naked, he becomes highly stim-
ulated and aroused. When a woman sees a man naked, she will
often blush or giggle. 6) A woman’s brain is programmed to com-
municate with talk and her sensitivity to touch is ten times greater
than a man’s. If a woman wants to pleasure a man by touching
him, she normally does it the way she would like to receive it. She
scratches his head, caresses his face, rubs his back, and tenderly
brushes his hair. Conversely (and obtusely), when a man decides
to sensually touch a woman, he “makes the moves” he likes—
i.e., he gropes her breasts and crotch. Women hate this, so touch
her gently, guys. 7) Women’s sex drive has often been compared
to an oven—it heats slowly to its top temperature and takes a
lot longer to cool down. Men’s sex drive is like a gas burner—it
ignites instantly, operates at full capacity within seconds, and can
be turned off just as quickly. 8) A woman’s sexual peak occurs
between the ages of thirty-six and thirty-eight. A man’s sex drive
peaks at age nineteen. 9) Men generally have a higher sex drive
than most women. Less than 3 percent of women are addicted
to sex. Roughly 8 percent of men are addicted to sex. 10) Most
women take about fifteen to thirty minutes to reach orgasm (if at
all). Men take about three to six minutes to reach orgasm. (And
since British researchers have now calculated that the average act
of sexual intercourse lasts seven minutes and fifty-four seconds,
that would appear to leave an awful lot of unsatisfied women.)
Key tips on Preserving and Improving Your Marriage
To explain a romantic break-up, simply say, “It was all my fault.”
—Anonymous
Let me wrap up this chapter by giving my readers my own set of
Marriage Preservation Pointers from the perspective of a divorce