And when at last thedaimoniondid not restrain him from acting on the Delphic“riddle,”he was by
then an old man so that staying alive to interrogate the Athenians was less important because his
business would soon be over anyhow–a fact that Socrates pointed out several times.
He also makes a joke of the corruption charge. Granted, Socrates says,“it is not unpleasant”for
young men to spend time listening to Socrates“examine”persons who think they are wise but are
not, but it would be easy to prove that such pleasures are not corrupting (33c–d). Just ask the young
men! There are several such persons in the audience who, had he corrupted them, would be happy to
testify against him. Socrates names them. Supposing that Socrates had corrupted them, would they
or their families be likely to display their dirty laundry in public? Particularly where the corruption
(diaphthora) involved might include pederasty?
Abruptly he says“that is all I have to say in my defence,”but then adds a few more insults (34b–
35d). First, he reminds them that, even though he has a family, he never dragged them onstage to
weep and beg and carry on and that“someone among you”^39 might be angry at him for failing to
provide such entertainment. He refused this option because it would reflect badly on the reputation
of the Athenians as much as on his own (34c–e). But here too Socrates jokes. At the same time as he
said he would never do something so disgraceful“he offers a sketch in speech of his own family,
even numbering his children and giving their ages”(34d).^40 By so doing, he echoes Aristophanes’
Wasps(562–70).^41
His final remarks are equally insulting. These“piteous or mournful dramas”say something
ridiculous about the city because acquittal on the basis of weeping and begging is a sign the jury did
not do its job. Had Socrates taken that path, he would have connived in perjury and, because the
jurors had sworn an oath, he would have implicitly taught that there were no gods.
But that is far from true. For I acknowledge or worship (nomizo) them, men (andres) of Athens
as none of my accusers does. And I hand over to you and to the god to judge me in whatever
way it is going to be best for me and for you (35d).Nowherein his final remarks before receiving the verdict does Socrates mention the gods of the city.
In terms of the divisions of theApologyprovided by Plato rather than his various editors,
Socrates’counter-proposal (35e–38c) is the central and arguably the most dramatically important
part of the dialog. He begins by saying he is not indignant or displeased (aganaktein) at the result in
part because it was“not unexpected”(anelpiston)or“not unhoped-for.”If the latter meaning was
intended, Socrates is suggesting that the verdict was the one he hoped for. He was, however,
surprised at how close the vote was.
Meletus proposed death as what Socrates deserved so Socrates, by law, has to propose a deserved
alternative. In doing so, he ignores the fact that he had been found guilty of impiety and mentions
only that he did not desire the things most Athenians sought, which any remaining jurors in the
audience are likely to construe either as bragging or as a rejection of civic traditions. So what, in
truth, does Socrates deserve by impoverishing and endangering himself in order to be a benefactor
for the Athenians?
Even more than an Olympic victor in a chariot race, he says, he deserves to be kept at public
expense in the Prytaneum. Because the Prytaneum was not a public restaurant but a sacred precinct
to which one convicted of impiety would not likely be admitted,“Socrates is making what the court
would consider a monstrous claim.”^42 What makes it comic as well is that Socrates says that
truthfulness requires him to make such a proposal. He caps this joke with another: he deserves to be
maintained at the Prytaneum because, unlike the Olympic victors who only seem to make the
Athenians happy, Socrates really does make them happy. Right: he makes the Athenians so happy
they kill him.^43 And he coyly adds:“perhaps you think I am speaking provocatively”(37a).
Perhaps? Socrates knows it is improper to propose a reward after he was found guilty. And if Burnet
is correct in his speculation that the accusers proposed the death penalty in the hope that Socrates
26 Barry Cooper