130 • PART II: MINDFULNESS IN EDUCATING FOR SELF-REGULATION AND ENGAGEMENT
As you are sitting, breathing, and attending to the nature and quality of your breath, you may
notice mental events. These are thoughts, memories, concepts, and ideas. These can also be feelings
tied to ideas and memories. When mental events arise as feelings, you will notice that there are sense
impressions that may go with them. You might feel sadness in your belly as you think about the dog
you loved when you were little. You notice these mental events—memories, ideas, stories—as they
arise. As you notice, bring your awareness back to your breath. Your breath is your anchor. Notice that
the mental events arise in your consciousness, gain a stronger presence, then pass away, getting softer
as they move out of your awareness. Notice this pattern. Notice that, as mental events arise and pass
away, your breath is a constant cycle of inhalation and exhalation. As you sit and breathe, you may
notice that your mental events also have associated feeling-tones. You notice that your brain labels
them as pleasant, neutral or unpleasant. Notice that you think and the feeling-tone is right with the
thought. As you see these feeling-tones, you notice that they arise and pass away, just as your sense
impressions and mental events arise and pass away. Notice this and bring your awareness back to your
breath.
As you practice, sitting and breathing, you may notice that some sense impressions and
feeling-tones pull for your attention. They snag, like Velcro, on your thinking self. As you sit, you
hear the lawn mower (sense impression), and you notice that the feeling-tone that goes with that
sense impression is unpleasant. “It is early,” you think. “It is too early for mowing,” you think.
You start to become angry as the whole story of your neighbor’s thoughtlessness comes to mind.
You think about her dog that barks late into the night; how she fails to weed her garden, making
the neighborhood look bad; how someone who never mows her lawn is highly inconsiderate to do it
before 9 a.m. when you are trying to meditate. You notice that, as your mind works and works, your
breath and your choice are lost.
Your power is in your anchor, your breath. The moment that you notice that you have left
your breath, go back to it. It does not matter if you brought your awareness back at your first
sense impression or mental event, or if you were well into a long story. Bring yourself back to
your breath. The growth is in your noticing. As you sit, you will see the habits of the mind. You
will get to know them. As you see them, notice them. “Ah, there it is. I notice my ‘neighbor story.’
I notice it, and I will bring myself to my breath.” Perhaps it is different, pleasant. “Ah, there are
the birds chirping. I notice them. I notice the pleasant feeling-tone. I bring myself back to breath-
ing.” Breathe.
As you are sitting, bring your awareness wholly to your breath. Notice the qualities of your
breath. Is it even, smooth; does it move in and out without pause? Breathe and notice. (Pause here
for 60 seconds.) When it is your time to finish, cultivate gratitude for your practice, your ability
to sit and notice, and for your insights gained during your practice today.
Source: Cook-Cottone (2015), inspired by Grabovac et al. (2011) and Wallace (2011).
Soften, Soothe, Allow
The Soften, Soothe, Allow Meditation is one of my favorite meditations for working
with difficult emotions (Germer & Neff, 2013). It was written by Dr. Kristen Neff, the
leading expert in self-compassion research. The full version of the meditation can be found at
http://www.centerformsc.org/sites/default/files/Soften-Soothe-Allow.pdf. Also, the Insight Timer