Sunday Magazine – May 26, 2019

(National Geographic (Little) Kids) #1

34 S MAGAZINE ★ 26 MAY 2019


Sex matters Doctor, doctor


Dr Rosemary Leonard MBE is a GP with many years’
experience working in London’s top teaching hospitals

Our agony aunt gets to the heart of your relationship problems JANE O’GORMAN’S


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fast since February and you’re
struggling to work out where it all
went wrong. From this point on,
I urge you to start taking care of
yourself. If she’s determined to
divorce, then it’s important that you
give yourself a chance to grieve
and free yourself from negative
feelings. Speak to your GP about
support as a newly single man
and learn from your mistakes. The
future is going to be tough, but,
sadly, life isn’t always fair.

I only moved out in February. Now
our adult children are telling me
to let her go, but why should
I simply give in when I’ve done
nothing wrong?
In an ideal world, you and your
estranged wife would have talked
through your problems and
consulted a relationship counsellor.
Now she’s telling you that she’s
fallen in love again and is planning
a new life. I can understand your
frustration; things have moved so

Contact Jane at S Magazine, Second Floor,
Northern & Shell Building, 10 Lower Thames
Street, London EC3R 6EN or email jane.
[email protected]. Jane regrets that
she cannot reply personally to your letters.

discuss this? You may have had
a fall, but you cannot be taken
advantage of. If you have a family
solicitor, then is it worth having
a chat with him or her about
your concerns?

never met. Apparently they’ll
be sharing a bed and this woman
has a lot of stuff that will have
to be accommodated. I don’t
want a stranger here but don’t
feel I have any choice when my
daughter is my only chance of
support and survival.
Grateful as you are to your
daughter, she has to hear that
a lot more discussion and
conversation is required. She can’t
simply move a stranger into your
home without consultation and
approval. You have to consider
your safety and comfort. What
is this woman’s backstory? Can
you all meet, with other family
members in attendance, to

PHOTOGRAPH: RCD1

getting involved because you have
no way of knowing how complicated
or deeply rooted it is. Keep away
from the father if he upsets you;
make other plans, but don’t be
tempted to criticise him. Different
families work on different dynamics
and you could come off the loser if
your boyfriend suspects you’re
trying to come between them.

My daughter’s left


me with a dilemma


I suffered a bad fall in January.
Now my daughter has announced
that she’s giving up her flat to
move in with me, which is great,
but she’s bringing a woman I’ve

My girlfriend insists that sex
is her right, no matter how I’m
feeling. I love her and want her
to be happy, but don’t always
feel up to the physical high
jinks she expects. My job and
commute are exhausting and
demanding deadlines aren’t
doing much for my energy
levels and mental health. She
says she understands, but
then screams that I’m cold
and unloving when I beg for an
early night. Of course I want
things to be like when we first
met, but what’s the solution?

You sound like a man on the
edge and your girl has to
appreciate that you’re struggling.
Talk to her away from the
bedroom about your daily grind.
What changes can be made?
Does your routine need an
overhaul for the sake of your
health? Promise to set specific
times aside for your relationship,
but also look at your career
options. I fear you’ll burn out
if you don’t start looking after
yourself. Tell her that you
acknowledge her frustrations
but need respect and help.

I seem to have had one
cold after another since
before Christmas. Recently,
I got a rotten sore throat
as well, but when I saw
my doctor she said antibiotics
wouldn’t help. Is this correct?
Antibiotics only tackle
infections caused by bacteria.
As most coughs, colds and
sore throats are caused by
infections with viruses,
antibiotics are of no benefit
at all. You need to give your

immune system as much help
as possible – that means
eating a really healthy diet,
with plenty of fresh fruit
and vegetables. If you’re
not getting your five a day,
take a multivitamin and
mineral supplement.

She wants a quick divorce – should I agree?


When my estranged wife called
to say she needed to see me
urgently, I honestly thought she
wanted us to get back together
again. I booked a table, but she
refused to order anything, not
even a drink. She demanded
an immediate divorce. I tried
to reason with her but she
confessed that she’d met
someone new and was on the
point of relocating with him.
I can’t believe the speed of this.

Why can’t he see


his dad’s bad news


My boyfriend, 28, adores his
father, but I can see that the man
despises him. No matter what
my boyfriend does to please, it’s
never enough. Tickets to a sports
event? He couldn’t see. Meal out
in a restaurant? The main course
was cold. The man is ungrateful
and cruel. How come I can see
him for the monster he is, yet
my boyfriend can’t?
Clearly your boyfriend craves his
father’s love and approval. You
may view the relationship as
one-sided or even unhealthy, but
I’d avoid making comments or

Contact Dr Leonard at S Magazine,
Sunday Express, Second Floor, Northern
and Shell Building, 10 Lower Thames
Street, London EC3R 6EN, or email dr.
[email protected]. Dr Leonard
regrets that she cannot reply personally to
letters. Read her column every Tuesday in
the Daily Express.

Jane O’Gorman

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