SOCIAL
SITUATION CPR
Here’s how to handle the
holiday season’s smaller
social emergencies.
Hmm. Hug? Shake hands?
When it’s unclear which
greeting is expected,
you can avoid confused
fumbling by approaching
the other person with
your right hand already
extended to shake.
You bump into someone
who knows you, but you
can’t remember who they
are. If you think your mem-
ory of the person might
come flooding back, fish
for more information:
“It’s great to see you!
Catch me up on your life.”
Less risky is to just come
clean: “I’m sorry, but I’m
having a brain freeze.
Can you please remind
me of your name?”
Someone gives you a
gorgeous gift and you’re
empty-handed. There is no
rule that you have to recip-
rocate a gift. Just express
your hearty thanks. Some
socially savvy people
keep a few small, wrapped
gifts—diffusers, tea towels,
wine, candles—ready for
the unexpected, but don’t
stress if you aren’t this
prepared.
You feel awkward accept-
ing a compliment. Do not
say, “Ugh, I’m ashamed to
be seen in this old thing!”
That’s deflating to the
compliment giver. Simply
smile and say thank you.
The office holiday party
is tonight, and you’re
thoroughly dreading it.
Sure, it’s called a party, but it’s
also work, says Annette Y. Harris,
executive presence and personal-
branding coach at ShowUp. And
no, you can’t just skip it.
DRESS FOR SUCCESS. “If you look
good, you feel more confident,”
says Harris. “Don’t wear some-
thing you would wear on a regular
day at the office. Amp it up a bit.”
Add a little sparkle or shine, a bold
holiday color, a bit of bling. “A
statement necklace or a snazzy
bow tie or cuff links are wonderful,”
says Harris. “They invite compli-
ments, which is a great way to
start a conversation.”
DON’T SILO YOURSELF.
It’s tempting to cling to your
next-door-cubicle buddy all
evening. Resist. It’s perfectly OK
to approach higher-ups and say
hello, says Debra Fine, author of
The Fine Art of Small Talk. “Smile
at your boss’s boss and say, ‘Happy
holidays. Wonderful party.’ Follow
her lead. If she engages you in fur-
ther conversation, great. If not,
move along with a cheery ‘It was
nice to see you!’ ” It’s also gracious
to engage the intern huddled
awkwardly in the corner. Helping
those even more nervous than you
can make you feel more confident.
DON’T TALK SHOP. “No one
wants to talk about spreadsheets,”
says Alkon. Keep the conversation
friendly but not prying. “Ask,
‘What keeps you busy outside
the office?’ ” suggests Fine. That
way the other person can choose
how much to share. Also safe
fodder: the season itself. “Ask,
‘Do you have any favorite holiday
traditions?’ ” says Van Edwards.
“And have a couple of your own
holiday stories in your back
pocket ready to share.”
ALLOW TIME-OUTS. Especially if
you’re shy, take occasional breaks
from schmoozing, says Aarons-
Mele. “I might pretend I have a
phone call. Then I go outside for
fresh air or hide in the bathroom.”
Of course, don’t relax by overin-
dulging. “You wouldn’t get drunk
at 10 a.m. at the office,” says Alkon,
“so don’t do it at the office party.”
ing breaths,” says Sampson. Inhale
deeply and hold for a count of
six. Then open your mouth wide,
as if you were a fire-breathing
dragon, and push out the air to a
count of six.
KEEP A FRIENDLY FOCUS. Yo u
don’t have to make eye contact
with everyone in attendance
(scary!). Gaze at the person you
are speaking about—the host or
guest of honor, says Van Edwards.
You likely know them well, so
their friendly face will steady you.
GETTY IM
AGES
70 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2019
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