public-speaking expert Andrea
Sampson, cofounder of Talk Bou-
tique, a speaker representation
and coaching company in Toronto.
Gratitude for the host’s efforts and
for the people gathered is a sure-
fire hit. And practice: “To calm
your nerves, rehearse, rehearse,
rehearse,” says Sampson.GIVE YOURSELF A REALITY
CHECK. Cognitive behavioral
therapists help patients reduce
anxiety by teaching them to fact-
check their fears. Try this before
your toast (or work presentation
or PTA speech): “First think through
the worst that could happen,” says
Hendriksen. As I stand up toYou have to deliver a toast,
and all eyes will be on you.
Public speaking is famously up
there with death and spiders
as something people fear most.
Even this small moment in the
spotlight can make your cham-
pagne flute tremble.
PREPARE. Ad-libbed toasts are
rarely an oratorical triumph. Write
down the toast in advance. “ ‘Be
bright, be brief, be seated’ is the
rule of thumb for holiday toasts,”
says Sharon Schweitzer, an inter-
national etiquette expert based in
Austin, Texas. (Under a minute is
typically a fine length for a holiday
toast.) Consider the one thing you
really want the recipient to hear or
the listeners to take away, advises
speak, I spill my drink all over my
dress, and everyone gasps in hor-
ror. Not great, but survivable.
Now ask yourself what the odds are
of that happening. Probably low.
But if it does happen, how will
you deal? I gesture for someone
to give me a napkin and make a
joke about how moved I must be
by the occasion. Finally, consider
what’s most likely to happen: I
talk too fast at first or stumble on
a word, but no one notices, and I
settle in. “Thinking through these
scenarios tames your irrational
worries and makes you more con-
fident,” says Hendriksen.BREATHE. “When we get nervous,
our breathing becomes shallow.
Before you go on, retreat to the
bathroom and take several calm-