Marie Claire UK - 10.2019

79

Psyche

PHOTOGRAPHS BY GETTY IMAGES, GARRETT PARKER, VINCENT VAN ZALINGE ON UNSPLASH.

THE ART OF MAKING MEMORIES: HOW TO CREATE

AND REMEMBER HAPPY MOMENTS

BY MEIK WIKING (£12.99, PENGUIN LIFE);

GROW YOUR OWN HAPPINESS

BY DEBORAH SMITH (£12.99, ASTER BOOKS)

eaten before, can help to make

a memory harder to forget.

‘If an experience is emotional, it

sticks in our mind, whether it was

good or bad,’ explains Wiking. ‘Doing

something that scares us is like using

an emotional highlighter pen. When

making a decision, ask yourself, “What

will I remember in ten years’ time?” On

holiday, you might like to read a book,

but going on a jet ski for the first time

will be more memorable. Even though

you won’t always want to choose that

option, it’s important to involve your

future self in that decision.’

Staying present in each moment

also helps solidify memories. ‘You

could be in the most amazing place

in the world, but if your mind is still

back in the office, or going over

an argument you had with your

boyfriend, you won’t be fully

present,’ says Deborah Smith,

positive psychologist and author of

Grow Your Own Happiness. ‘We live in

two modes: the narrative and the

experiential,’ she adds. ‘When we’re

locked in the narrative mode – a

dialogue is going on in your head, or

you’re giving yourself a hard time – it

stops you being in the moment, no

matter how good it might be, which

creates a lot of anxiety.

‘The more you can bring yourself

back to the moment – into the

experiential mode – the better. Try to

be aware of your environment, really

seeing, hearing and feeling it, so that

all your senses are awake and alive.

Being mindful is like turning up the

volume of an experience and helps

embed it in your memory.’

If you’ve ever heard a song or

encountered a familiar fragrance and

been whisked straight back to another

time and place, you’ll know how potent

our senses are when it comes to evoking

memories, and harnessing this potency

can help cement them. The artist Andy

Warhol changed the scent he wore

every three months, then never wore it

again. He knew that whenever he

smelled it, he’d be taken back to that

specific period of time. And while

Warhol’s way of embedding memories

might be extravagant, we can apply the

same principle to our own lives.

‘Research shows that when people

with dementia are played particular

songs, it can help to trigger their

HAPPY DAYS

Fivequick tricks for making joyful memories stick

DON’TJUST SEE,

OBSERVE

Selectiveattention

means the brain filters

out anything it thinks

isn’t relevant. By

concentrating on the

details of a moment,

you’re more likely to

remember it. Practise

switching from the

narrative to experiential.

REMOVE

DISTRACTIONS

Oursenses are

continually bombarded,

so to keep your mind

focused on the

present, it helps

to remove other

distractions. Put

your phone away and

notice the difference

it makes.

SHARE

STORIES

Repeatinganecdotes

strengthens the ‘muscle’

of a memory. Talking

about a happy time

a week, month and year

after the event will

solidify it. It’s also

a great way of helping

kids form strong

childhood memories.

ENJOYTHE

JOURNEY

Aswell as remembering

hedonic pleasures,

think back to how you

felt when you strived

for a long-term goal or

went through a period

of personal growth.

So-called eudaimonic

pleasure adds meaning

to our lives.

ENDEXPERIENCES

WITH A BANG

Thepeak-end effect

means we remember

the peak and end of

an experience above

everything else. So, if

you weave a special

moment into the last

part of an event, you’ll

create a more positive

memory overall.

‘BEINGMINDFUL IS

LIKE TURNING UP

THE VOLUME OF AN

EXPERIENCE AND

HELPS EMBED IT IN

YOUR MEMORY’

memory,’explains Smith. ‘You can try

it yourself: put on a track you loved

when you were 16, and you’ll suddenly

rememberwhat you were doing and

who you were hanging out with.’

Making a playlist for special moments,

or linking them to a particular smell,

canhelp us recall them in more vivid

detail later on. Even listening to

a particular album on your commute

and switching it up every couple of

months can help you recall different

periods of time more clearly.

Of course, most of us use visual

cues to remember happy times. But,

Smithwarns, there’s a balance to be

struck between capturing memories

andruining the moment. ‘Research

has shown that our memory of an

event is actually stronger if we

haven’ttaken lots of photos,’ she says.

‘If you’re taking 100 pictures of

a sunset, you’re not really seeing it.’

Wiking advises setting up an

Instagram or Facebook account for

photos that might seem boring to

other people, but will work as

memory triggers for you. ‘What we

choose to post on social media is

partly influenced by what other

people will think,’ he explains. ‘But

the photos that will be meaningful

for us get edited out.’

Once you’ve got into the habit

of savouring your happy moments,

they’ll become easier to remember.

And, Smith says, it’s not just the big

occasions we should be committing to

memory. ‘Celebrate all your victories,

no matter how big or small. If you’re

striving for something, commemorate

each goalpost along the way. There are

so many lovely moments in life we

think don’t count, but if you pay

attention, every one of them can.’■