RANDOM
ADVICE YOU
NEED: HOW
TO IMPRESS
THE PARENTS
By LISA STARDUST
ARIES
Avoid raging when
they even slightly
mention bae’s ex.
TAURUS
Stop stealing leftovers.
Or at least
don’t get caught.
GEMINI
Embrace awk silence
for a change. (If it’s an
emergency, talk to the
family dog.)
CANCER
Show off your cook-
ing chops, but do not
upstage Dad’s turkey.
LEO
Give ’em time to catch
up before telling that
story “everyone loves.”
VIRGO
Don’t whisper-shade
the kitschy doll-themed
living-room decor.
LIBRA
Stop pandering during
political arguments.
Everyone can tell.
SCORPIO
Save the PDA for later
(in boo’s childhood
bedroom—kinky!).
SAGITTARIUS
No going off on your
own—participate! Set
the damn table.
CAPRICORN
Stop. Checking. Your.
Work. Emails. (This is
good for you too.)
AQUARIUS
Be more like Libra and
a lil less intense about
your opinions. Related:
Stop yelling!
PISCES
Just don’t get
wine-drunk.ASK YOUR
ASTROLOBESTIE
Dear Concerned
Capricorn,
Honestly, it sounds
like the sitch you’re in
w it h yo u r sis t e r is
based more on her
immaturity and some
weird flexes than on
her astrological traits.
That said, think of
Sagittarius energy as
a powerful, uncon-
tained wildfire. Sags
wa n t t o l e a r n, dis -
cover, and experience
as much as humanly
possible—no matter
who or what they have
to scorch along the
way. Luckily, though,
you’re an earth sign,
and dirt can put out
fires without causing
major damage.would take her seri-
ously only when she
was coupled up?
After she explains
her side, address your
issues and make it
clear that your squad
isn’t into dramz. It’s
likely that she’ll come
to her senses if you
stand your ground.
If she doesn’t, you’ll
need to set some
hard Capricorn-style
boundaries.
To the Moon and back,
x x A l i z a
@AlizaKellyNeed some cosmic help
to cope with your drama?
Hit us up: Astrolobestie
@Cosmopolitan.com.I know your first
instinct is to repri-
m a n d p e o p l e in t h e
wrong, Capricorn
babe, but avoid that
at all costs here. Sag-
ittarians hate to be
bossed around, so
don’t try to dump her
from the group text.
She will rebel against
yo u, a n d it w il l n o t
be pretty.
Instead, make one-
on-one plans to catch
up on her life. Try to
understand the
motives behind her
a c t io ns, eve n if s h e
doesn’t state them
explicitly. Fitting in
is harder for some
p e o p l e t h a n it is f o r
others—maybe she
thought your friendsReal-talk advice from astrologer, author, and
Instagram meme queen Aliza Kelly.Dear Aliza,
A few months ago,
my high-maintenance
Sagittarius sister
complained that she
was feeling lonely, so
I started inviting her to
hang with my friends.
Turns out, she’s hella
dramatic—and not in
a good way (is there a
good way?). Exhibit
A: All our nights end
with her crying about
something. Oh, and
now she’s hooking
u p w it h my b e s t
friend’s ex! How can
I disinvite her from
the group without
compromising our
relationship in the
long run?
Sincerely,
Concerned Capricorn*me coming
for your dear
fellows*If you want
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