2019-09-01 Cosmopolitan South Africa

HowcanI ‘talkdirty’

withoutconflatingmy

partner’sgenitalia

andgender?

A Easy:whether

or nottheylinktheir

downstairssitchto their

genderor identity,there

aresomanyhotways

to complimentthem

fortheirridiculously

goodmoves.Some

firelinesstraightfrom

psychologistLizPowell

(which,TBH,I wish

I couldtakecreditfor):

‘I lovethewayyou

useyourfingers’,‘your

mouthis soamazing’,

‘youfeelsogoodon

topof me’and‘the

soundsyoumake

getmesoturnedon’.

Thosearecompliments

anyonewouldlove

to hear.

WhydoI feel

pressureto‘prove’

I’mbiwhenI’veonly

everdated

onegender?

A You’re not alone.

‘The only people

I’m dating with any

seriousness are cis-

gender women and

I’m AFAB gender-

queer, and I still

wonder sometimes if

I’m bisexual enough

for queer spaces,’

admits Powell. Bi-, pan-

and polysexuals, in

particular, can have (^) PHOTOGRAPHY
SONJA LEKOVIC/STOCKSY AND ALAMY
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COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA | SEPTEMBER 2019
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• ns
  Nothing’stooweirdforCOSMO’s
  sex andrelationshipsdirector
  FayeBrennan
  SEX Q&A
  There are no gay
  bars – like, zero – in
  my town, and apps
  are killing me. How
  can I meet LGBTQ+
  peopletodate?
  A I hear you on the
  dating-app fatigue...
  Start by searching on
  Facebook for local
  LGBTQ+ groups and
  RSVPing to events they
  post, suggests leading
  LGBTQ+ expert Kryss
  Shane. Yeah, you’ll still
  be using your phone
  to take the first step,
  but finding out where
  everyone’s hanging
  will get you into actual,
  in-person sitches –
  and hopefully, on
  a date – sooner.