ASK THE TEACHERS 21
RAY BUCKNER: Very soon I’ll be getting top
surgery. Though I’m increasingly excited
about my choice, I find myself burdened
by others’ judgments: “Why can’t you
just accept your body as it is?” “Can’t
you be genderqueer without needing to
make these changes?” If I truly listen
to my body and heart, they whisper an
important truth: I have always wanted
my body to be without breasts. I do not
want breasts anymore. In this one life, I
wish to be happy. I wish to see myself as I
am. Though not a Buddhist teacher, I am
a trans practitioner committed to a path
of collective liberation by which each of
us can find refuge in this important, wise,
and often oppressed frame. As a trans
Buddhist, I believe my commitment must
be to discerning, loving, and honoring
my path—respecting my heart and body’s
yearnings.
A Buddhist teacher recently named
processes of gender transformation
“materialistic,” stating our obligation as
Buddhists is to work with our bodies as
they are without pursuing medical treat-
ment, thus combatting the shallow work-
ings of the conventional mind. I wonder
if many teachers hold this position, that
trans people should find bodily peace
without surgical intervention. I worry
that because Buddhists believe in basic
goodness and see our bodies, hearts, and
minds as perfectly good, bodily changes
might be deemed unenlightened and a
product of the mind’s obscured cravings.
These Buddhist conceptualizations of
gender, desire, and the body are limited,and they harm trans and genderqueer
people. So many of us were socialized
into bodies and genders not of our choos-
ing. We were taught not to listen to our-
selves as we yearned for button-ups, high
heels, or different pronouns. Whatever
our path, we have been told to ignore
and silence our needs so we don’t lose the
ones we love or become ostracized. These
wounding judgments often cause lifelong
trauma, shame, and self-hatred.
We cannot offer dharma that replicates
these forms of violence.
As we continue to contemplate the
important place of trans people in our
sanghas, I ask that we hold and honor
the needs, identities, and bodies of
those in our community. May we offer
a dharma grounded in discernment of
trans people’s lived realities. May we
offer a dharma grounded in understand-
ings of gender, power, and oppression.
May we refrain from reifying notions
of masculinity and femininity and the
innateness of bodily parts and gendered
norms. May we not presume a person’s
gender based on their appearance, voice,
or height.
May we meet the dharma of the body
that meets us—not presuming what it
needs or offering an “objective” theoreti-
cal reason why one should not transition
but simply asking, with space, possibility,
and respect: what is it that you need, my
friend? Whatever you desire, whatever
you most wish and yearn for in this life,
we as your sangha support you on your
path. May this be the way.Ray Buckner is a graduate student in Women’s,
Gender, and Sexuality Studies at Ohio State University
and writes frequently on Buddhism, queer and trans
embodiment, and social injusticeCLAUDINE^GO
SSETT