Communication Between Cultures

to be a successful communicator. For example, learning how to compromise, show

empathy, and listen intently can be learned. Solomon and Theiss further affirm that

effective communication skills can be acquired when they write:“Although people

are born with the ability to communicate, creating and interpreting messages requires

self-knowledge, attention to a communication partner’s perspective, detailed under-

standing of how the situation shapes meanings, and an ability to select and sequence

messages to achieve particular goals. These abilities take effort and practice to

develop.”^11

The Message You Send Is the Message Received

We have already mentioned that the communication process is multifaceted and

complex. Yet many people believe that the message they send is the one that the

other person receives. That notion is bogus, as it is predicated on the false premise

that the recipient of the message decodes the message inexactlythe same way the

sender of the message encoded it. Hence, telling is communicating. This myth

assumes that people are like computers and that human communication simply

involves the direct transfer of information. This view does not allow for variables

such as each person’s background, memory, values, beliefs, vocabulary, and the like

to be in operation when people communicate. This misconception is often at the

heart of major conflicts and misunderstandings when people attempt to share their

internal states but have very different interpretations for what they believe to be the

same messages. Of course, when you add the dimension of culture into that equation,

this misconception becomes even more problematic. Later in this chapter, we discuss

some ways to minimize some of the problems associated with the misconception that

the message sent is the message received.

Culture

Moving from communication to culture provides us with a rather seamless transi-

tion, for, as Hall points out,“Culture is communication and communication is

culture.”^12 In fact, when examining communication and culture, it is hard to

decide which is the voice and which is the echo. The reason for the duality is

that you“learn”your culture via commu-

nication and that, at the same time,

communication is a reflection of your

culture. Worded slightly differently,cul-

ture is both teacher and textbook.

This book manifests the authors’strong

belief that you cannot improve your intercultural communication skills without having

a clear understanding of this phenomenon called culture. The following examples

demonstrate the powerful link between communication and culture:

• Somepeople are delighted and smile when someone pats the head of their young
  child. Yet in other cultures, such a gesture is deemed an inappropriate act. Why?


• Some people seek the company of others when they are grieving, but other people
  seek solace. Why?


• Some people scratch their ears and cheeks as a sign of happiness, but people in
  other places of the world smile when they are happy. Why?

REMEMBER THIS

Communication and culture work in tandem.

Misconceptions About Human Communication 37

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