NO PLACE TO CALL HOME
Q|
My husband is a contract
worker who works
all over South African and
overseas. The contracts last
from three to eight months,
and he expects me and our
four-year-old son to always
travel with him. While some
places are quite exciting, I
feel all the moving is going
to take a toll on our son. I
obviously don’t want to ruin
my husband’s career, but I feel
like settling down in one place
now. I also miss having a
career. How do I handle this?A
This is an exceptionally
challenging situation because
your husband’s contract work
is your family’s livelihood.
I’m not sure what kinds of
practical choices are available to
you, but it is an emotional upheaval
to keep moving to different cities
and countries. Your own and your
son’s connections and bonds with
people will keep being broken
when you leave a place.
Up until now, your son has
needed his mom and dad more
than anything else. As long as he
had you, he could manage the
strain of changing environments.But now that he is in preschool
his schooling and friends are also
important. Each time he’s uprooted
from a place with its significant
people, he will suffer a major loss.
It will be impossible for your son
to form lasting friendships if he’s
never in the same place for
longer than eight months. While
you could take on the primary
teaching role for your son, part of
the value of school is that it helps
children learn how to be part of
the world with all its complexities.
Developing confidence as a
member of a group is vital. Having
to change your group every few
months is very hard and it isn’t
really fair on a preschool child.
However, if you and your son put
down roots somewhere and your
husband goes away on contract
for months at a time, this is also
highly disruptive and traumatic
for your son and family life. Your
son needs his dad, preferably to
be living with him all the time.
So you are in a no-win situation
that must be highly distressing.
Ideally, your husband will eventually
find a different job that allows him
to live at home with his family.
Jenny Perkel, clinical psychologistCONSTANT COUGH
Q|
I’m 29 years old and am
16 weeks pregnant with
my first baby. I have had a dry
cough for three weeks, and it’s
especially bad at night. I heard
Expigen is safe to take during
pregnancy. Is this true, and can
the cough affect my baby?A
A chronic dry cough, especially
one that’s worse at night,
may be an early symptom of
asthma. If you don’t have a fever,
sharp chest pains when you’re
breathing, shortness of breath or
loss of weight, then you probably
just have a common cold or “flu”.
Coughing won’t harm your baby,
but if you have the above associated
symptoms your baby could be at risk.
Expigen is safe to take during
pregnancy as it doesn’t contain
alcohol. It suppresses the cough
and loosens phlegm. I suggest
taking the Expigen syrup.
Steaming with menthol may also
help to moisten dry airways. If your
cough persists, contact your doctor.
Dr Lindiwe Cebekhulu,
obstetrician and gynaecologist66 | SEPTEMBER 2019 | L&L