Living and Loving – September 2019

72 | SEPTEMBER 2019 | L&L

CLASSESWITHAFOCUS
Itmaysoundcounter-intuitive
toenrolyourshytotinaminiballet
class,ortotakehertoClamberClub,
butitcanbemucheasierforshychildren
totakepartinorganisedactivitiesthan
unstructuredplay.“Inaclasssetting,she’llbe
inagroup,butnotthefocusofanyattention,”
sheexplains.Yourtotcanfollowthe
instructions,ratherthanhavingto
respondindependently.Indoing
so,she’llgraduallylearntobe
happyinsocialsettings.

baby & toddler

TRY,TRYANDTRYAGAIN

Yourshytotmighthideinyour

lapthefirsttimeyoutakehertoa

playgroup.But,saysKoraly,it’simportant

nottogiveup.“Shemightnotengageinany

ofthegames,orwithanyoftheotherchildren,

butresisttheurgejusttoswoopherupandnever

takeherback,”shesays.Neithershouldyoucajoleor

pressurehertojoinin.Justlethersitwithyou,andgo

backthenextweek.“Maybenexttimeshe’llgeta

littleclosertothegroup,”saysKoraly.“Perhapsby

thefourthvisitshe’llsayhellototheotherkids.”

Childrenlearnthroughplayandsocial

interaction,soit’simportanttokeep

givinghertheopportunitiesto

bewithherpeers.

HAPPYREMINDER

“Preschoolisoneof

thebestnaturallaboratories

fortotstomanageshyness,”

saysKoraly.Studiesrepeatedlyshow

thatshychildrenindaycarebecomeless

anxious.Ifyourtotisnervousaboutleaving

you,atangibleobjectcanhelp.“Childrenlove

havingsomethingtheycancarrywiththem

asareminderofallthingsgood,”says

Koraly.Itcouldbeateddy,orahanky

thatbelongstoyou,whichshecan

reachforwheneversheneeds

reassurance.

SMALLWORLDPLAY

Littlefigures,likedollsin

adoll’shouseoranimalson

afarm,canhelpyourlittleone

practisesocialsituationsand

playoutanyanxietiesshemight

have.Itcanbehelpfulasa

steppingstonetowards

moresocialplay.

SAYHELLO!

Yourlittleonelearns

fromyou.Asyougoabout

yourday,remembertosmile

atthebaristawhohandsyou

ababyccino,andstrikeupshort

conversationswithneighboursinthe

street.Rememberthatshe’swatching

you,andlearningthatother

peopleareasourceoffunand

companionship,notfear.

TAKEAPROP

TOAPLAYDATE

Ifyourlittleoneisshyduring

playdatesatotherpeople’s

houses,trytakingoneofhertoys

along.“Itcanactasabuffer,”

saysKoraly.“Theotherchildmight

takeinterestinthetoy,andthen

socialinteractionhappens

almostaccidentally.”LL

Got to our website and click on Child for

advice on how to parent a shy child.

LIVING

AND

LOVING

.CO.ZA

WORDS

HATTIE GARLICK/BAUER SYNDICATION

PHOTOGRAPHY

SUPPLIED; GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK