IREN^ MOROZ/SHUTTERSTOCKAre you in need of some professional motivation?
Send us a work anecdote, and you could receive $50.
To submit your stories, visit rd.ca/joke.What final grade would
you give to these
students’ papers?
Retired English
teacher Tim Clancy
collected some
insightful quotes from
his students’ work:
)“I would recommend
this book because it
teaches that prisons
aren’t as fun as they
look on TV.”
)“The only good thing
about this essay is that
most of the words are
spelt right.”
)“This book is very
heart clenching.”
)“Most of the people
in Huck Finn are kind of
disgusting. They’re
either drunks or
women in bonnets.”
)“To his dismay, he
gets killed.”
)“Never judge some-
one until you live a day
in the life of that per-
son’s shoe.”
)“If I didn’t have
to read and write,
I would really
enjoy English
class.”
—BY TIMFROM CLANCYBEST IN CLASS
(CHRONICLE BOOKS)Mystery Motivation
Keep your co-workers
on their feet by begin-
ning your next email
with, “If you’re reading
this, I’m already dead.”
— @HOME_HALFWAYCo-worker: Omg text
me anytime you need
a shift covered.
Me: Can you work
today?
Co-worker: Omg, sorry,
my uncle’s hamster is in
town or I would.
— @GABRIELLECOFFEEBy adding, “I don’t
know what I would do
if it got any better,” to
“Livin’ the dream,” and
“Another day in para-
dise,” I’ve got a pretty
heavy-hitting arsenal
of responses for when
my co-workers ask how
I’m doing.
— @BMANGALL20The Right Title
Four real people who
found their way to the
perfect job:
)Les McBurney, for-
merly of the Sun Prairie,
Wisc., fire department
)Sara Blizzard, BBC
weatherperson
)Andy Drinkwater,
civil engineer for the
Water Research Centre
in England
)Tennys Sandgren,
American professional
tennis playerFood for Thought
Every office is only
as motivated as its
snack collection.
— APARNA NANCHERIA,
comedianIt’s bleak how job hunt-
ing is a job in itself, and
the only reward is an
actual job.
— @WINNINGPROTOCOLreader’s digest
88 september 2019
DOWN TO BUSINESS