Our family is facing a temporary financial crisis
and my husband has asked us to reduce household
expenses for two months. My 11-year-old son has
misunderstood the situation as dire and has become
non-communicative. Should I consult a professional
counsellor?
— Preethi Chaddha, Chandigarh
For children, money-related and concepts such as
“reducing expenses” are abstract and can cause anxiety.
You need to educate him about money management.
Give him a small sum of money and ask him to maintain
four piggy banks, for savings, charity, investment and
expenditure. Encourage him to manage the money
efficiently. Your temporary financial crisis provides a good
opportunity to help him understand money management
and discuss his father’s financial troubles. Only if this
strategy doesn’t work, should you call in a counsellor.
My daughter is preparing to write the CBSE class X
board exam in 2020. My husband’s cousin’s daughter
will also take the same exam next year. My mother-in-
law is always comparing their report cards and marks.
This irritates my daughter. How do I explain to my
mother-in-law that comparisons are odious?
— Prameela Balakrishnan, Kochi
Though you can counsel your mother-in-law that a little
restraint and understanding from her will go a long way
in helping her granddaughter cope with board exam
pressure, it’s usually difficult to change the well-entrenched
attitudes and behaviour of elders. I suggest that you focus
on supporting your daughter in this crucial academic year.
Advise her to develop coping strategies such as ignoring
her grandmother’s comparisons, practise breathing
techniques and yoga to calm down, and develop positive
life attitudes.
Last year we shifted to a new city and my children,
aged six (son) and eight (daughter) years, started
attending a new school. Recently I was informed by
my son’s class teacher that he still does not interact
freely with classmates and has few friends. Please
advise.
— Harshvardhini Bhatia, Haryana
Male children take longer than girl children to adapt to
new social situations especially if they lack opportunities
for free, unstructured, outdoor play with peers. They are
also less likely to use language for communication. You
should make an effort to provide him time every day for
free unstructured play with his peers. Also, reduce gadget
and screen time. You will notice change in his behaviour in
three-six months.My 15-year-old daughter is neither too thin nor too
fat. But she believes she has become obese and is
skipping her meals. I am worried about her health. Is
this a passing phase?
— Neha Palekar, Mumbai
Media and peer pressure to look physically attractive
affects most adolescents who are constantly shamed for
being different from the ideal body image. It’s advisable to
consult a professional dietician who will counsel her on the
importance of a balanced diet, regular exercise and fitness.
On the home front, make fitness and health an important
priority — as opposed to following weight loss regimens —
and encourage all family members to participate and bond
through collaborative physical exercise.ASK YOUR
COUNSELOR
NURTURING 21st CENTURY CHILDREN(Aarti Rajaratnam is director of the Child Guidance Centre and
Counseling Clinic, Salem/Chennai)TEACHING CHILDREN
money management
AARTI RAJARATNAM