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GRATIAN VAZ
Y
our brother or sister is, perhaps, the
person you’ll know the longest in
your life. Having a sister or brother
has its advantages. No one knows
you better than your sister or brother.
Siblings can have a terrific sharing
relationship with each other and be
closest friends.
On the flip side, teen siblings who are
the best of friends one moment, can
hate each other intensely the next —
especially if he is a topper in studies or
she is a star athlete and you are the last
one to be selected for any school team
and manage just an ‘average’ in studies.
Being jealous and envious of your
sibling is normal. It is known as sibling
rivalry. Even the best of families
encounter it at some point. But what
are the reasons behind this rivalry?
What to do if your brother or sister
drives you crazy?
It is good to know why you are
fighting and the different things you
can do to ease the tension, like effective
ways of talking to your brother or
sister without it turning into a vicious
argument or slanging match. SometimesFights between siblings are common —
in fact they are a fairly normal part of
growing up. Learning how to deal with
differences and clashes early on can
set the stage for a lifetime of positive
relationship.it can’t be resolved and that’s when you
might have to agree to disagree.
Learning how to deal with differences
and clashes early on can set the stage
for a lifetime of positive relationship. In
addition, it will help you to get along
with other people outside the family.Changing needs
The needs of teenagers change
rapidly and anxieties associated with
friends, teachers, schools and even
neighbours can affect teen sibling
relationships. As a teenager you are
developing a sense of independence,
freedom and individuality. When
there is another teenager struggling for
independence and dominance under
the same roof, rivalry is likely to ensue.
Treat the other as an individual and
recognize his/her differences to foster a
sense of individuality.Favouritism and fairness
Teen sibling rivalry is often fuelled by
feelings of favouritism or inequality.
Conflicts erupt over issues like who gets
more attention, who determines whatTV shows to watch, share of household
chores, being granted special privileges
and waiting for turns.
Parents will try to minimize this
rivalry by reassuring each one of
you that they love you both equally.
They may outline a goal or specific
behaviour to help decrease the
perception of favouritism.Jealousy
Jealousy may arise at school, in
social situations and at home. As
you try to fit in with your peers, you
often compare your looks, skills and
achievements with those of others.
Teen siblings will naturally feel jealous
of each other. You may be jealous of
your sister’s looks and talents; your
brother might feel that he could make
friends as easily as you do.
Your sister brings home one trophy
after another — singing, swimming,
basketball — and your parents proudly
place them prominently in the living
room showcase! Every person who
visits is led to the showcase so that
your parents can rave about howPhoto: ©HEMANT MEHTA / 123RF.COM