dear youth counsellor
THEY WANT ME TO LIVE ACCORDING
TO THEIR WISHESI’m a normal teenager who wishes for a normal life. My
problem is my parents want me to live according to their
wishes. They never want to know about my dreams.
They just want my safety to the point where they
enrolled me in a girl’s college with subjects that I don’t
want. I get that they are my parents and want my safety;
but what kind of parents want their children to do what
they want? They never lived like that but why do they
put such pressure on me? I feel like running away from
everything and living a life by myself for which I don’t
have the courage. What can I do?Rithika (18)Dear Rithika,Seems like you are feeling very stifled by your parents’
over-protectiveness and disregard for your dreams.
Looks like you don’t enjoy open communication with
them.You’re an adult now, and it would help you if you
took a more practical stand. First, take a good look at
yourself. Are you clear about what you really want? Are
your dreams practical and conventional, or will you be
breaking out in a new direction? Also is safety the only
reason they have put you in a girl’s college?Then, take the initiative to meet with your parents. Ask
them to help you understand why they have done what
they have, and hear them out without judging. Be open
to the idea that they may have a better understanding of
you than you realize, and that what you may be doing
right now might turn out to be a rocking future for you!If you’re not convinced, then calmly explain that you
do have your own hopes and dreams. Explain your
future plans to them in detail keeping in mind your
own safety. Ask for their support. You might just be
surprised.MY PARENTS’ DREAM OF SEEING ME AS
A DOCTORI’m a student of class 9. I want to take journalism
as my career but my parents dream of seeing me as
a doctor. I’ve tried several times to confide in them
and tell them about my dreams and future plans but
they don’t seem to be satisfied. I don’t want to hurt
them because they have always done the best for me
though we belong to a middle class family. Should Iforget about my dream and pursue the career which
my parents have selected for me or should I go against
the will of my parents and choose journalism as my
career?Shruti (14)Dear Shruti,You sound quite keen on becoming a journalist instead
of a doctor, so you must be feeling quite frustrated that
your parents don’t share your dreams for your future.If your mind is quite made up, you need to both
develop your skills in journalism, and also be
knowledgeable about a wide variety of subject areas.
Develop your skills by contributing to the school
magazine; teen magazines and newspapers; and take
part in essay contests and more. Build your writing
portfolio or blog. If you do well in these, it will then be
easier to convince your parents that this is where your
talents lie.Parents want their children to have a secure future —
both in terms of earnings and safety. If you can help them
to see that you will be able to earn well in the field and
that it is a respectable profession to be in, they will find it
easier to see your point of view.I AM NOT ABLE TO CONCENTRATE ON
MY STUDIESI perform well in studies but I am not able to
concentrate on my studies. I have many hobbies such as
dancing, painting, sketching, singing, etc. My parents
want me to focus on one thing instead of giving time to
my hobbies. Please help me to focus on one thing.Shruti (13)Dear Shruti,It is great to have hobbies along with your studies.
However, your parents are right, the time is soon coming
for you to focus on the most critical four years of your life
— classes 9 to 12.So, pick any one hobby to seriously pursue along
with your studies. For this, you can join a hobby class
if possible. As for the rest, don’t give them up... just
use them as a means of relaxation between your study
sessions.One of the best ways is to focus on learning for at least
two to three 25-minute sessions everyday, with a five-