leaves bowls caked with the remains of
their morning oatmeal festering in the
sink. What do you do about food slobs?
A classic tactic is taping a passive-
aggressive “Clean up after yourself—your
mom doesn’t work here!” sign to a kitchen
cabinet. This is problematic for many rea-
sons, one being that it is rather sexist.
Another reason is that I once worked at
a place where a co-worker’s mom did, in
fact, work there.
But leaving all of that out of it, isn’t
leaving notes taped to things a little
finger-waggy and a lot annoying? Yes and
no, according to the experts.
“There is actually a picture of a fish with
a caption that says, ‘Nobody wants to smell
your fish!’ on the microwave in my office,”
laughs Jill Schiefelbein, president of the
Dynamic Communicator, which creates
and executes communication strategies
for businesses and leaders. “Using humor
is usually a great way to confront an issue
and de-escalate tension.”
It becomes passive-aggressive, she says,
only when a note is posted in a very public
way about an issue that everyone knows
is about one person. That’s why Carnevale
favors being direct and discreet in most
situations. Summing up the findings of a
study published in the Journal of Leader-
ship & Organizational Studies, he explains:
“Research shows that just no one takes
passive-aggressive messages positively.”
Instead, by talking one-on-one, you can
address the slob prob privately—which,
importantly, he says, allows the offender
to save face.
Griffith had a much more primeval reac-
tion to the nuked-fish scenario: “I’d go full
Game of Thrones—walk through the town
square with the offending Tupperware and
shout, ‘Shame! Shame! Shame!’ ” (I think
I’m with her on this one.)
The meeting elongater
regardless of whether a meeting
lasts 15 minutes or one hour, they all feel
like they’ve dragged on for 19 days, right?
And when they’re finally— blessedly—
wrapping up, as everyone is gathering
their stuff or looking at missed texts on
their phones, the meeting leader will usu-
ally half-heartedly say, “Anyone have any
questions or have anything to add?”
The answer everyone in the room is
looking for is “Hell no,” but we’ve all
worked with the person who takes this
opportunity to ask a question that was al-
ready answered or makes a point that was
already made 17 times.
Before you start googling “how to make
tranquilizer darts out of office supplies,”
think about what is really going on here,
says Schiefelbein. “There’s likely a root
cause where this person isn’t getting ad-
equate attention in some way. Maybe it’s
their progress, their productivity, their
contributions—there’s likely a lack of rec-
ognition that is negatively affecting them.”
Griffith agrees that talking just to talk
is a demonstration of insecurity. “First you
need to have compassion for this person. In
this scenario, I would pull the co-worker
aside post-meeting and make an effort to let
them know that they are seen and heard.”
And not just in meetings, but show sup-
port during the workday as well. Although
humor can be an effective tool to point out
minor annoyances, sarcasm can be a killer,
she notes. “Saying something like ‘Thanks
for taking up all of the oxygen in the room!’
will only perpetuate the problem.”The Michael Scott–er
they make terrible jokes, they
overshare, and good gracious, on days
when you just want to put your head down
and get something done, they can be an-
noying. How do you deal with a manager
or co-worker who, in prime Michael Scott–
from–The Office fashion, really, really, re-
ally wants to be buds? Unless it is creep-
ing into truly inappropriate and lecherous
behavior, the advice from most experts is:
let them!
“The world needs more Michael
Scotts!” says Griffith. “They’re vulner-
able, they put themselves out there, and
they care about you as a total person. You
should want to hang out with the people
you work with. I don’t only think this is