it can even convert this road blocker into
your idea’s greatest champion.
The personal groomer
last, but certainly not least (gross)
is the public groomer—the person who
does in clear view of their co-workers what
many people are embarrassed to do in front
of their spouses.
Take this extreme example, shared by a
friend who wishes to remain anonymous.
One of her co-workers, an older gentleman
who had been at the company for decades,
liked to clip his fingernails in his cubicle.
The sound was nasty enough, but then
one day things ramped up quite dramati-
cally on the awfulness scale. While work-
ing away at her computer, she heard that
familiar clipping noise, and then a new
noise: the sound of a freshly clipped nail
landing on her keyboard. He snipped with
such ferocity that the half-moon of horror
launched over their shared cubicle wall.
Perhaps she didn’t want to embarrass
him; perhaps she was afraid that if she
opened her mouth, vomit would come
out; so she said nothing. Is the silent treat-
ment the correct answer for a mortifying
moment?
It might be uncomfortable, but the
answer is no. Whether it is flying finger-
nails or someone who sprays perfume that
gives you an instant migraine, Carnevale
believes that when something is invading
your personal space, you need to speak
up for yourself. And this is where being
friendly and personable to those around
you rather than being just a cold co-worker
becomes a real problem- solving hack. “It’s
a lot easier to ask someone who you con-
sider more of a friend to adjust their be-
havior than someone you barely talk to,”
he says. And it works the other way as well:
“When we see others as a friend, we’re
likely to avoid behaviors that can jeop-
ardize that relationship.” In other words,
friends don’t let friends clip their finger-
nails at work. •