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94 COSMOPOLITAN APRIL 2018 FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

report

I

t’s not going to be

pleasant but picture

this: you’re with a

guy and the sex feels

really good. But when

you look down, you

see him pumping away

unprotected, after

having secretly pulled

off his condom.

This is ‘stealthing’, an

abhorrent practice that’s

been getting more and

more attention after an

article in the Columbia

Journal Of Gender And

Law described it as a

form of sexual assault.

Stealthing quickly

transforms consensual

sex by disregarding the

terms—condom use—

both partners agreed to,

explains author, Alexandra

Brodsky, a civil rights

attorney. It happens

most often in hook-up or

casual-sex situations, and

can leave victims feeling

duped, disrespected,

angry and ashamed—

and fearing STIs and

pregnancies. “It’s an

invisible form of violence

that’s been going on for

a while,” says Alexandra.

Now, it finally has a name.

SHOCKING

DISCOVERIES

While there are no

concrete stats on its

prevalence, a 2014 survey

of 313 single, straight

men between the ages of Photograph:

SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

21 and 30 found nearly

10 percent admitted to

engaging in ‘condom

sabotage’: removing or

breaking one mid-deed.

Of those, some had done it

at least 63 times in total—

the maximum number

they could choose in the

survey, says lead author

Kelly Cue Davis. When

it happened to Ria, 25,

she was with a guy who’d

pursued her for months.

“There was lots of in and

out (penetration) during

a long night of sex,” she

An alarming act called stealthing is now

being recognised as a serious violation.

Stay safe with this must-know info.

By Stacey Colino

says. “While behind me,

he paused so he’d last

longer, and that’s when

he ripped of the

condom.” When she

realised he had ejaculated

inside of her, she was,

understandably, furious.

So was Ritu, 39, who

had sex with a guy she

met on a dating app last

year. “I was very clear that

it was important to me to

have protected sex,” she

recalls. They did it once

using a condom, with a

repeat performance in

The Scary

Sex Thing

Some Guys

are Doing