Muscle & Fitness UK – August 2019

AUGUST 2019 / MUSCLE & FITNESS 97

think it’s just guys that have the capacity to cheat?
Women are so much smoother at this game. I mean
like, SILKY smooth! She could be getting all sorts of
“D” in her face whilst your dumb-ass is too distracted
to notice as you’re more excited that you just made it
to the next level of GTA. When women tell me what
brought them to that point and how their men
behave, I don’t blame them either.

If you are going to play away, be it an unplanned
spontaneous quickie or long-term affair, there are a few
very important elements to ensure you take heed of:

Don’t catch anything!

Make sure this is what you really want. You can’t undo
something like this and the more you do it, the more
habitual it becomes and before you know it. You’ve
become a serial cheater and rather than make the
effort to resolve differences or to fix a problem
you’ll be looking for unsustainable quick fixes.

So. Things to consider!

Have a very solid alibi. Plan your game. Delete phone
records and messages. Pay by cash. Play outside of
your neighbourhood. Ask yourself a million questions
as you never know what might come up. Have a few
very reliable friends who know and you can trust.
Don’t get too emotionally involved or it goes from
being a bit of fun to you being a creepy mistake.
Have a change of clothing. Sweep for hair. Avoid
marks, slaps, bites, scratches! Don’t leave anything
behind. If you do film it, get rid of it afterwards!
Don’t let it affect the dynamic you have at home,
it’ll arouse suspicion. Make a VERY clear differentiation
between home life and the ‘other’ one.

Is it worth it? Not for me to say. Just ensure the
other participant isn’t a psycho!

Who’s better in bed?

Bodybuilder, CrossFitter or Fighter!

Right, let’s damage some egos!

Bodybuilders: Big, strong and pretty much most of the
time with elevated testosterone levels which gives them
a very unique edge. They exude alpha male dominance
and are the most eye catching human specimens out
there. But the sheer nature of the sport means that
most have by far the worst athletic stamina that I’ve
seen in any discipline. Cardio? As long as it’s slow

pace to avoid tapping into those gains. Any partner

hoping for an extended hammering is going to be left

feeling rather disappointed as Mr bodybuilder will be

more focused on the next meal and out of breath!

CrossFitter: These guys have MEGA, mega stamina,

strong and great athletic bodies....and allegedly

the pinnacle of shit form! So although they’ll

be able to hammer away, the inherent lack

of grace and rhythm is akin to a misfiring

jackhammer!

Fighter: Not the strongest but ferocious stamina and

aesthetically pleasing, yet not necessarily always perfect.

We... I mean, “they” have a  never give up attitude similar

to the crossfitter, BUT, as martial arts require very strict

form and discipline, agility and humility to get things

perfect, you know form and rhythm are always going

to be on point. Now consider most fighters cross train

across various disciplines such as bodybuilding and

strength training you can be assured those testosterone

benefits we spoke about earlier are going be through

the roof too. Haters gonna hate!

Instagram: @komie.h

By Komie Haghighi