top: mansell/getty images • illustrations: paul windle • bethpage:
icon
sports
w
ire/getty images
46 golfdigest.com | may 2019
The Golf Life The Digest
NEW YORK-FLAVORED INSULTS
TO USE DURING THE PGA
CHAMPIONSHIP AT BETHPAGE
you putt like
the knicks shoot!
you’re softer
than the inside
of a knish!
you have a better
chance finding
a cab in midtown
during rush hour
than a fairway!
you’re older than
the brooklyn bridge!
a field guide to the golfers of different states
new york golfer
▶ On-course
performance
mirrors state of
stock market.
california golfer
▶ Leaves after 16
holes to beat traffic.
texas golfer
▶ Carries oversize
driver, bag, ball
marker; takes over-
size divot.
vermont golfer
▶ Rates courses by
their foliage.
florida golfer
▶ Arrives at course
on souped-up
custom golf cart.
colorado golfer
▶ Heads into weeds
to look for a lost
ball, returns craving
potato chips.
golf is, in part,
a game; but only in part.
it is also in part a religion,
a fever, a vice, a mirage, a frenzy,
a fear, an abscess, a joy,
a thrill, a pest, a disease, an uplift,
a brooding, a melancholy,
a dream of yesterday,
and a hope for tomorrow.
new york tribune, 1916