my rebirth
as a
golfer
begins now.
oy, wish
i’d
stretched
more.
wait, is it
straight left
knee or
right knee?
damn,
that’s
a new ball,
too. eh, it’s
not even
really golf
season yet.
tee-quila
time
▶ Let’s raise a
glass to thawed
hands, booked
tee times and
Cinco de Mayo.
—coleman bentley
el tesoro paradiso
A collaboration be-
tween master distiller
Don Felipe and
French cognac blend-
er Alain Royer, Parad-
iso is a slow summer
evening in a bottle.
Aged five years in co-
gnac-soaked French
oak, this old/new
world hybrid is gold-
en, butterscotchy,
and perfect for porch
time. $130
avion reserva 44
The Reserva 44 is a
labor of love, resting
43 months before
transferring to spe-
cial “petite barrels”
that are then rotated
daily for an additional
month. The amber
extra añejo (meaning
it has aged a mini-
mum of three years)
is then poured into a
fire-polished crystal
bottle and shipped to
you, aka the luckiest
SOB alive. $130
herradura ultra
Ultra begins as a
blend of añejo (aged
at least a year) and
extra añejo before a
rigorous filtering pro-
cess. The result is a
crystalline añejo that
goes down silky
smooth with notes
of agave, vanilla,
honey and toasted
almonds. $60
golf’s unsung-
hero employees
course ranger who blames the
guys in front of you.
cart girl who actually has
change for a $20.
golf-shop clerk who absent-
mindedly thinks twilight rate
kicks in at noon.
maintenance guy who silences
weed wacker while you putt.
head pro who manages your
expectations.
range picker who doesn’t gripe
to management even though you
are obviously aiming at him.
maintenance guy who brings
you the wedge you left on
the last hole.
starter who refrains from say-
ing, “which one of you is going to
break the course record?”
snack-shop guy who is actually
there.
guy who doesn’t call you out
for changing your shoes in the
parking lot.
caddie who pretends to care
about the match you have with
your buddies.
THE BETHPAGE BLACK
WARNING SIGN:
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS
▶ if you’re
wondering
if you’re
good enough
to play this
course, you’re
not. if you’re
still not sure,
this will be
apparent
when you’re
hitting 4 out
of the rough
with 230 yards
to go. don’t
even think
about the
back tees.
may 2019 | golfdigest.com 47
first swing thoughts of the season
please,
just
don’t miss.
by sam weinman & alex myers
maintenance guy:
andrew
redington/getty images • medal: tom and steve/getty images • bethpage:
ross Kinnaird/getty images • swing: 4x6/getty images • tequila: herradura
short shorts
▶Because you don’t
skip leg day, and the
cart attendant needs
to know it.
tennis shorts
▶ You were an
11th-hour invite to
the member-guest.
bermuda shorts
▶ Polished penny
loafers and a wicked
sock tan complete
the club uniform.
cargo shorts
▶ You don’t need no
stinkin’ golf bag.
knickers
▶ They might as well
remember you for
something.
what your shorts say about you