Often, the thing we get stuck
in is our own head. “We can
get paralyzed being caught up
in thinking about how we stack
up to people around us,” Misner
says. Trouble is, we tend to com-
pare our inner securities with the
polished outer image others pres-
ent. “Recognize that what you
see in ot hers is only what t hey are
showing you,” Misner says. His
trick? Repeat the phrase: “Things
are not a lways what t hey seem.”
Then think about one thing you
offer the world. “By focusing on
your best self, you see that you
bring to the table experiences and
knowledge no one else has.”Half of all cellphone calls this
year are expected to be from
robot spammers, which can
be costly and dangerous. Out
of 30 billion robo calls in 2017,
scammers stole $350 million
from fol ks. “Rely ing on Ca l ler ID
isn’t fail-safe since scammers can
now ‘spoof,’ or fake, the numbers
t hey ca l l from,” says Susan Grant,
director of consumer protection
and privacy at the Consumer
Federation of America. One f i x:
“People aren’t answering their
phones, letting calls go to voice
mail.” If you do pick up a suspi-
cious call, hang up quickly and
never say the word “yes,” even to
simple questions like, “Are you
the homeowner?” Scammers
can record your voice and use it
to try to authorize illicit charges.How to unclog a calendar full
of unwanted events? Tell people,
“My plate is overf lowing right
now, and I can’t make that event,”
advises Ivan Misner, Ph.D.,
author of Who’s in Your Room?
“This works especially well when
you start with, ‘If I said yes to
this request, I’m afraid I’d let you
down,’ ” because it shows that
your relationship with that per-
son is important. “People tend
to respect that boundary.”
Also smart:Distance yourself
from toxic people via benign
neglect—subtle, gradual deci-
sions that move a person fur-
ther from your daily orbit, says
Misner. One example: not initiat-
ing emails or phone calls.84 First for women 8/26/19
life smarts
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STYLIST:^ J
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ISAM
AXBAUERSCAM PHONE CALLS
SOCIAL ENTANGLEMENTS
A MENTAL FUNK
Never say this word
Consider a friendly boundary
Switch thinking this way
How to get IN to
anything!
DEEP SLEEP Set your bedroom thermostat
to a cool 61°F–66°F since warmer temperatures
have been linked to increased wake-ups. Our
circadian rhythms are programmed to naturally
induce sleep when body temperature declines.POPULAR RESTAURANT Use a free app
like OpenTable to make a reservation for an
unpopular time, then call the restaurant the day
of to request a more favorable time. While you
may not have been able to score a prime-time
slot initially, the staff now sees you as an actual
customer in the system and may be more will-
ing to accommodate your request.home
We could all use an occasional lifeline to escape
tricky situations. Here, experts give insider advice
on how best to ex tricate yourself with ease!
How to get out
of anything!
DISABLED PHONE Enter the wrong pass-
code too many times, and your iPhone can be
disabled for hours. If you don’t have time to
wait for it to auto-unlock, try this: Connect the
phone to a computer it has synced to before.
Go to iTunes, choose “sync” and type the cor-
rect pass code. Then hit “restore” to return the
phone to the most recent backup version.