PICNIC
If you’re after a relaxed rendezvous that
allows for decent conversation, the classic
picnic might just be the answer. Bars and
restaurants can be noisy and expensive,
but with a picnic, you’ll never have to worry
about over-enthusiastic waiters interrupting
your chat, or uncomfortable bill-splitting
moments. Further pros are that it requires
little planning – simply shake out the
tartan rug that lives in the boot of your car;
check the weather forecast for upcoming
downpours; and swing by a decent deli.
Cons: hay fever sufferers may struggle with
springtime frolics, unless they lace their
crustless sandwiches with antihistamines.
Also, if you’re feeling nervous or get self-
conscious shovelling pesto into your face,
there may be room for awkward silences.
(Luckily, in this situation, neither applied.)
My picnic conversation topics somehow
included death, horoscopes and famous rap
beefs, so be ready to cover all the big topics.
And here’s a handy hint: line your pockets
with pastrami to attract nearby dogs, giving
you the opportunity to point out that animals
are an excellent judge of character. DFBOATING
Of all date ideas that combine romance with
upper-body exertion, hiring a rowboat tops the
list, without a doubt. While propelling ourselves
merrily downstream, we encountered
sunshine, ducks, Simpsons references (that’s
a paddlin’) and plenty of laughter when I
accidentally steered our boat directly into the
riverbank. As a date scenario, rowing provides
helpful insight into how the two of you handle
compromise – aka, one set of oars. If they
instinctively kick back, relax and wait for you to
steer the ship... maybe reconsider a follow-up
date. Boating is a timeless activity for a reason:
it’s surprisingly fun; pretty darn cute; and
probably a unique experience for both parties –
unless you happen to be courting a fisherman.
(Plus, you’re contractually obliged to have
a steamy make-out session if you get stuck
in a sudden downpour à la The Notebook.)
Sometimes it pays to scrap any pretence of
being ‘cool’ and really embrace the fact dates
can be cheesy as heck, which is part of the fun.
This is the perfect choice if you aren’t afraid
to look a bit silly and share a laugh – after all,
it’s impossible to be elegant when boarding a
wobbly wooden boat. DFTHE MOVIES
Do you want to be trapped with your date
in the dark watching two other people
fucking? Because that’s what happened on
my movie date. People warned me against
my choice of film,Call Me By Your Name,
but I wanted to see something I knew
was good in case the date was pointless
(all dates should have a value proposition
above and beyond potential mating). It was
a first date with someone I know well; we
were comfortable watching sex scenes
together. This fact tells me that a) even if
we’re not comfortable having sex (which we
didn’t), we can at least enjoy it as art; and
b) we can tolerate being quiet with each
other for two hours. On the car ride home,
we went deep, discussing the evolution of
media consumption habits over the course
of our lifetimes. (Side note: nostalgia
always makes for good date conversation,
especially when it includes copious
references toThe Terminator.) No, we didn’t
kiss, but do all dates need to culminate
in wild, animalistic sex, dripping in peach
juice? Ideally, yes – but sometimes, you just
get a knee pat. Three stars.MTtake me out
MIA TIMPANO, DEIRDRE FIDGE
AND CARO COOPER TRY OUT SOME
CLASSIC DATE SCENARIOS.
Illustrations Anjana Jain
road test