15-05-2021-052358It-Ends-with-Us

“Yes. I kept the magnet Atlas gave me when we were kids. Yes. I
kept the journals. No, I didn’t tell you about my tattoo. Yes, I probably
should have. And yes, I still love him. And I’ll love him until I die,
because he was a huge part of my life. And yes, I’m sure that hurts
you. But none of that gave you the right to do what you did to me.
Even if you would have walked into my bedroom and caught us in bed
together, you still would not have the right to lay a hand on me, you
goddamn son of a bitch!”
I push off his knees and stand up again. “Now it’s your turn!” I yell.
I continue pacing the room. My heart is pounding like it wants out.
I wish I could give it a way out. I’d set the mother-fucker free right
now if I could.
Several minutes pass as I continue to pace. Ryle’s silence and my
anger eventually just fold together into pain.
My tears have exhausted me. I am so tired of feeling. I fall
desperately onto my bed and cry into my pillow. I press my face so
hard against my pillow, I can barely breathe.
I feel Ryle lie down next to me. He places a gentle hand on the
back of my head, attempting to sooth away the pain he’s causing me.
My eyes are closed, still pressed into the pillow, but I feel him gently
rest his head against mine.
“My truth is that I have absolutely nothing to say,” he says quietly.
“I’ll never be able to take back what I did to you. And you’ll never
believe me if I promise it won’t happen again.” He presses a kiss
against my head. “You are my world, Lily. My world. When I woke up
on this bed that night and you were gone, I knew I would never get
you back. I came here to tell you how incredibly sorry I am. I came to
tell you I was taking that job offer in Minnesota. I came to tell you
goodbye. But Lily.. .” His lips press against my head again and he
exhales sharply. “Lily, I can’t do that now. You have a part of me inside
of you. And I already love this baby more than I’ve ever loved
anything in my whole life.” His voice cracks and he grips me even
harder. “Please don’t take this away from me, Lily. Please.”
The pain in his voice ripples through me, and when I lift my tear-
soaked face to look at him, he presses his lips desperately to mine and
then pulls back. “Please, Lily. I love you. Help me.”