15-05-2021-052358It-Ends-with-Us

His lips briefly meet mine again. When I don’t push him away, his
mouth comes back a third time.
A fourth.
When his lips meet mine the fifth time, they don’t leave.
He wraps his arms around me and pulls me to him. My body is
tired and weak, but it remembers him. My body remembers how his
body can soothe everything I’m feeling. How his has a gentleness in it
that my body has been craving for two months now.
“I love you,” he whispers against my mouth. His tongue sweeps
softly against mine and it’s so wrong and so good and so painful.
Before I know it, I’m on my back and he’s crawling on top of me. His
touch is everything I need and everything I shouldn’t.
His hand wraps in my hair and in an instant, I’m transferred back
to that night.
I’m in the kitchen, and his hand is tugging my hair so hard it hurts.
He brushes the hair from my face and in an instant, I’m
transferred back to that night.
I’m standing in the doorway, and his hand is trailing across my shoulder,
right before he bites into me with all the strength in his jaw.
His forehead rests gently against mine and in an instant, I’m
transferred back to that night.
I’m on this same bed beneath him when he slams his head against mine so
hard I have to get six stitches.
My body becomes unresponsive to his. The anger begins to roll
back over me. His mouth stops moving against mine when he feels me
freeze.
When he pulls back and looks down on me, I don’t even have to
say anything. Our eyes, locked together, speak more naked truths
than our mouths ever have. My eyes are telling his that I can no
longer stand being touched by him. His eyes are telling mine that he
already knows.
He begins to nod, slowly.
He backs away from me, crawling down my body until he’s at the
edge of the bed with his back to me. He’s still nodding as he comes to
a slow stand, fully aware that he’s not getting my forgiveness tonight.
He begins heading toward my bedroom door.
“Wait,” I say to him.