Invitation to Psychology

Chapter 14 The Major Motives of Life: Food, Love, Sex, and work 495

family controls female sexuality and the financial

terms of marriage (Coontz, 2005). Yet even in

these countries, such as India and Pakistan, the

tight rules governing marriage choices are loos-

ening and young people are spurning arranged

marriages. The rules forbidding divorce are also

weakening, even in once extremely traditional

nations such as Japan, China, and South Korea

(Rosin, 2012).

As you can see, our motivations to love may

start with biology and the workings of the brain,

but they are shaped and directed by our early

experiences with parents, the culture we live in,

the historical era that shapes us, and something

as utterly unromantic as economic dependency or

self-sufficiency.

that was not going anywhere, even if they loved
the guy. They married, in short, for extrinsic
reasons rather than intrinsic ones. Most men,
however, could afford to be sentimental and ro-
mantic in their choice of partner.
In the second half of the twentieth century,
as women entered the workforce and as two in-
comes became necessary in most families, the
gender difference in romantic love faded, and so
did economic motivations to marry, all over the
world. People may still fantasize about marrying
a zillionaire, but nowadays, most choose a partner
to live with for intrinsic motives, for the pleasure
of being with the person. Exclusively pragmatic
reasons for marriage persist only in countries with
high rates of poverty or in which the extended

Marriage for financial

security is still the only

option for many women

from impoverished

nations—like this bride,

whose husband chose

her from a mail-order

catalog.

Recite & Review

Recite: Assuming you are passionate about learning, recite aloud what you know about passion-

ate versus companionate love, biological factors in love and attachment, the two major predictors

of whom we love, the benefits and problems of online dating, the attachment theory of love, the

ingredients and definitions of love, and why motives for marriage have changed in recent history.

Review: Next, reread this section; that shouldn’t be a tough assignment.

Now Take This Quick Quiz:

1. How are adult passionate love and infant–mother love biologically similar?


2. Tiffany is wildly in love with Timothy, and he with her, but she can’t stop worrying about his
   fidelity and doubting his love. She wants to be with him constantly, but when she feels jealous
   she pushes him away. According to the attachment theory of love, which style of attachment
   does Tiffany have?


3. True or false: Until recently, men in Western societies were more likely than women to marry for
   love.


4. Stephanie has been texting night and day to a guy she met on an online matching site. The
   exchanges are fun, but what should she consider before agreeing to go off with him for a hot
   weekend?
   Answers:

Study and Review at MyPsychLab

Both involve the release of neurotransmitters, vasopressin and oxytocin, and endorphins that make attachment literally feel 1.

good, by activating the pleasure–reward circuits in the brain; and the two forms are associated with activation of similar brain

Quite apart from the safety risks of going away with a stranger, neither of them might have been 4. true3. anxious2. areas.

honest in their self-descriptions, know what they really want in a partner, or be as attracted to the three-dimensional human

being as to his or her cyber self.

the erotic animal:

Motives for Sex

Most people believe that sex is a biological drive,

merely a matter of doing what comes naturally.

“What’s there to discuss about sexual motivation?”

they say. “Isn’t it all inborn, inevitable, and inher-

ently pleasurable?”

You are about to learn...

• which part of the anatomy is the “sexiest sex
organ.”

• why pleasure is only one of many motives for
having sex.

• how culture affects sexual practices.

• the puzzling origins of sexual orientation.