114 Who Are Our Friends?
and whose fulfillment satiates the need to feel connected to others (Baumeister &
Leary, 1995). Finally, affiliative needs are discussed in the positive psychology lit-
erature, and focus on the biologically driven needs humans have to form bonds and
attachments to others like themselves (Hill, 1991). In sum, all of the needs consid-
ered in this chapter on friendship in romance are those that describe connection
and interdependence between individuals.
Romances are very flexible in the make- up of the needs that the involved partners
value and hold important. Despite their flexibility, evidence suggests that romances
most typically involve at least a moderate amount of friendship. Evidence can be
seen from prototype analyses of romantic constructs, in which the everyday use
of language is examined for insight as to what the natural definition of constructs
are (Rosch, 1973). In a prototype analysis of love and commitment, for instance,
participants identified both companionate features and passionate features as com-
ponents of love, but the companionate features were judged as more central to the
definition of love (Fehr, 1989). Further stressing the centrality of friendship to
romantic constructs, the analysis also indicated that the features that connect the
constructs of love and commitment are exclusively companionate in nature (Fehr,
1989). Aron and Westbay (1996) further corroborated this notion, finding that inti-
macy features (e.g., understanding, honesty) were core to the meaning of love.
Given the centrality of friendship within a romantic relationship, it stands to
reason that individuals who place a high value on having a strong friendship with
their romantic partner are more likely to thrive. Those individuals who conceptual-
ize friendship components as central to romantic love experience greater friend-
ship with their partner (Aron & Westbay, 1996), and better overall relationship
quality (Fletcher, Rosanowski, & Fitness, 1994). More directly, individuals who
view friendship needs as important needs to be fulfilled within their romantic rela-
tionships reap more positive relational outcomes both concurrently and over time
(VanderDrift, Wilson, & Agnew, 2013). Concurrently, the amount of importance
placed on friendship needs is positively associated with relationship commitment,
experienced love, and sexual need fulfillment. Over time, these benefits trans-
late into increased commitment, love, sexual need fulfillment, and arguably most
impressively, relationship persistence.
Beyond valuing friendship in a romance, however, actually receiving the fulfill-
ment of friendship needs is also associated with relationship quality. When a sample
of spouses who had been married at least 15 years were questioned as to what they
attributed the success of their marriage, the most common answer elucidated the
importance of friendship: “My partner is my best friend” (Lauer & Lauer, 1985).
Indeed, the actual experience of friendship within a romance is positively associated
with experiencing greater passion in the romance (Grote & Frieze, 1994) and sat-
isfaction with the romance and life generally (Fehr, 1996; Kim & Hatfield, 2004).
Investing time, energy, and resources into the friendship aspect of the relation-
ship is associated with commitment, love, sexual need fulfillment, and relationship