Competition in Friendship 221become friends with a sexually promiscuous female and to introduce such a friend
to a boyfriend.
Toward an Integrative Model of Competition
and Friendship
Based on the research that has been conducted to date, the impact of competition
on friendship seems to be dependent on (1) gender; (2) the type of competition (or
competitiveness) one is talking about; and (3) culture. We argue that to understand
the role of competition in friendship, it is necessary to consider the interconnec-
tions between these elements in terms of normative social- developmental processes
as well as the cultural transmission of interpersonal motives and values. The context
for the following discussion is the intersection of these three important elements.
Motives, Needs, and Gender Socialization
One way to conceptualize competitiveness is to consider an individual’s personal
motivations, needs, or goals for competing. Often these motivations are grounded
in a person’s social development through socialization processes, where the goal is
to shape an individual’s values, motives, and behaviors to fit into the existing cul-
ture (Gardiner & Kosmitzki, 2010). Many classic theories of psychology contend
that human interaction and behavior is organized around two broad categories of
needs or motives (see McAdams, 1988). One cluster of needs or motives is focused
on gaining agency, power, and excitement, whereas the other cluster is focused on
gaining communion, intimacy, and love. The first cluster has at its core individu-
alistic motives and has been referred to as agentic needs; the second cluster cen-
ters on social or interpersonal motives and has been referred to as communal needs
(Buhrmester, 1998). Ideally, a balance is struck between the satisfaction of agentic
and communal needs for an individual’s healthy psychological and social adjust-
ment (e.g., Bakan, 1966). In terms of competition, agentic and communal needs
can be at odds with one another (e.g., a friend beats another friend in a competitive
game bringing glory to one individual and hurt feelings to the other), or they can
work together (e.g., a win in a team competition encompasses an agentic sense of
achievement and a communal sense of camaraderie among teammates).
Although most persons in individualistic cultures possess both agentic
and communal needs and look to friendships as one way to satisfy these needs
(Buhrmester, 1998; Buhrmester & Prager, 1995), past research and theory sug-
gests that the overall importance of having either agentic or communal needs met
may differ by gender. For example, several theorists contend that males and females
come from two distinctly different “cultures” and that they acquire decidedly dif-
ferent gender- related social interaction styles (Brown & Gilligan, 1992; Maccoby,