“or you’re paying for a lawyer to get
them out of trouble later.”
When I asked Stirling if she had any
retirement plans, she seemed dumb-
founded by the suggestion. Drew, her
biological son, studied business and
recently started helping his parents
plan for their financial futures—they
don’t have much saved. “It’s not look-
ing very good for them,” he says. “Look-
ing back, you can say, ‘Well, if you had
just done this....’ But that’s the sacrifice
they made, right?”
Not long after I arrived at the Stirling
house, Ross joined us. At 59, he’s ami-
able and stocky, with a salt-and-pepper
goatee. In the Disney version of the
Stirling story, Ross is Cindy’s lovable
sidekick. The reality is messier. Four
years ago, the couple legally separated
and Ross moved out. Ross was working
15-hour days and taking week-long
business trips to support the family.
He was burning out. “When you first
start fostering, you have all these altru-
istic ideas,” he says. “You think you’re
going to change lives. And you do. But
it certainly took a toll.” They attended
couples’ counselling but ultimately
decided to split.
Nonetheless, Stirling’s open-door
policy extends to her ex-husband.rd.ca 55