Reader\'s Digest Canada - 05.2020

illustration by belle wuthrich

BY Cassie Barradas

A plea from the lonely

Magic 8 Ball collecting

dust in your basement

RELY ON ME,

NOT GOOGLE

i cannot believe it has come to this. But

consistently plummeting sales have

forced my hand (metaphorically, as I

do not have literal hands). I write to

you (again, without hands) as a con-

cerned Magic 8 Ball, urging you to

reconsider your dependence on Google

for answering all questions, when I am

clearly the superior alternative.

As a novelty item invented in the

1950s, I am uniquely qualified to give

up to 20 possible responses to any yes

58 may 2020

HUMOUR