Send us your original
jokes! You could earn $50
and be featured in the
magazine. See page 7 or
rd.ca/joke for details.Student: That’s because
Mommy’s cooking a lot
better this year!
— OLGA PERIN,
Caledonia, Ont.
My four-year-old has
been carrying a small
notebook around all
day. She opens it, writes
small scribbles and
quickly closes it back
up. She’s calling it her
“secret diarrhea.”
Maybe someday I’ll cor-
rect her, but definitely
not today.
— @MOMTRANSPARENT1
My six-year-old niece,
Ella, after snorkelling
for the first time:
Mommy, I saw a school
of fish!
Her mother: Wow, Ella!
A school of fish!
Ella: Well, maybe it was
just a class.
— AMANDA ROBERTS,
To r o n t o
My four-year-old son
loved to draw dino-
saurs. One day he drew
a large T. Rex and it
looked really good, so
I exclaimed, “Holy
cow!” Outraged, he
said, “It’s not a cow,
Mom, it’s a dinosaur!”
— JOSEPHINE SISMAR,
CoquitlamHave kids so that some-
one can ask you to cut
up their bagel and then
ask you to put it back
together.
— @OHIOMOMOFTWOMom to five-year-old
biological son: Why
are you so cute?
Five-year-old: I’m
adopted.
— NORBERT PENNER,
Chilliwack, B.C.I was reading a book
with my four-year-old
that asked him to name
someone who loves
him. “I can’t,” he said.
“Yes, you can,” I told
him. “Just name some-
one.” He looked puzzled
and said, “But everyone
already has names.”
— ASHLEY ASHFIELD,
Hampton, N.B.My daughter woke me
up at 5 a.m. to urgently
tell me that “Any bal-
loon SpongeBob blows
up is technically a water
balloon,” and I have
not been able to fall
back asleep.
— @ISABELZAWTUNMe: Mommy just needs
a little space right now.
Child [perched on top of
my head]: Why?
— @LURKATHOMEMOM[Driving by a church
with my six-year-old
nephew.]
Nephew: It’s a turch!
Me: No, that’s a church.
It starts with C.
Nephew: Then why is
there a T on it?
— CHRISTINE HOOVER,
London, Ont.My daughter just asked me if I was 22.
I said, “No, I’m 37.” Then she asked if
I’m actually her grandma.
— @UNFILTEREDMAMArd.ca 67