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THERE’SA TIMEANDPLACEFORADVICE.Butwhengiving
it is yourdefaultresponsetocolleaguesandfriends
whofacedifficultsituations(andformostofus,that’s
thecase),it becomesa problem.
It’saninsidioushabit—oneyou’vebeenencour-
agedtoadoptallyourlife.Fromyourearlydaysin
school,throughexamsincollege,andintoyourca-
reer,it’salwaysbeenabouthavingtheanswer.And
biologyis colludingwithsocietalinfluence.When
yougiveadvice,yourbraingetsa doseoffeel-good
chemicals.Youfeelsmartandaccomplished,poised
andhelpful.Thebuzzisintoxicating.Nowonder
you’regivingadviceallthetime.
Butmostofit is notusefuloreffective.Here’swhy.
1.You’resolvingthewrongchallenge.Moreoften
thannot,you’reofferingsolutions(brilliantornot)to
thewrongproblem.You’vebeensuckeredintobeliev-
ingthatthefirstchallengementionedis therealissue.
It rarelyis.Butbecausewe’realltwitchy-keentohelp
and“addvalue,”youjumpinandsolvethefirstthingthatshowsup.
2.You’reproposinga mediocresolution.Let’ssayyouside-
steppedthatfirstmistakeandtooka littletimetoidentifythereal
problem.Unfortunately,you’restilllikelytomakesuggestionsthat
arenotasgoodasyouthinktheyare.Therearereasonsforthat.To
startwith,youdon’thavethefullpicture.Youhavea fewfacts,a de-
lightfulcollectionofbaggage,a robustservingofopinion,andan
oceanofassumption.Yourbrainis designedtofindpatternsand
makeconnectionsthatreassureyouthatyouknowwhat’sgoingon.
(Chancesare,youdon’t.)Addtothatyourownself-servingbias,
whichis whatbehavioralscientistscallit whenyou’reover-inclinedto
believeyourideasareexcellent,andthenuggetsofgoldkeepcoming.
3.You’redisplayingpoorleadership.Evenif youavoidthefirst
twomistakes,you’llreacha crossroads:Doyousupplyananswer
that’s fast and right? Or give someone else who’s less experienced
or less senior the room to figure things out? Down one path: speed
and a confirmation of your status within the group. Down the
other: an act of empowerment — and with it, an increase in confi-
dence, competence, and autonomy.
Sadly, most of us choose the first path. We’ve been conditioned to
do so. But problem-solving becomes much more interesting and ef-
fective when we stay curious and know when to step out of the way.
Michael Bungay Stanier (@boxofcrayons) is the author of The
Coaching Habit and The Advice Trap, from which this article
is adapted. Comment on this article at http://sloanreview.mit
.edu/x/61326.
Reprint 61326. For ordering information, see page 4.
Copyright © Massachusetts Institute of Technology, 2020. All rights reserved.
Stop Rushing In
With Advice
BY MICHAEL BUNGAY STANIER