BANJO-KAZOOIE
Rare are kind of obsessed with toilets – probably because they’re Brits. A couple
of years before introducing an entire boss made up of poo in Conker’s Bad Fur
Day, Rare put a loveably loquacious toilet into 1998’s Banjo-Kazooie. This talking
crapper is called Loggo (see what they did there?), and he offers to flush the
titular heroic duo down his dirty U-bend to retrieve a collectible ‘Jiggy’ from the
septic tank. Flushed with that successful debut appearance, the sentient bog
went on to appear in the sequel, Banjo-Tooie, where Kazooie must help unclog a
Cheato Page from his pipes. Loggo is a typically memorable character from Rare,
though he’s still not as much of a potty mouth as Conker.
OUTLAST
Few survival horror games are quite as claustrophobic, intense and even
oppressive as Red Barrels’ indie hit Outlast from 2014. Now, nobody expects
investigating a remote mental asylum, in the dead of night, to be much of a
laugh, but since you’re only armed with a video camera you have to spend the
entire nightmare running away from nasty-bad things. It’s all about the jump
scares, this one, and nothing is worse than when you’ve been hiding in the
asylum’s toilet cubicles watching something’s feet under the door outside, and
then getting discovered as it furiously yanks open the door. Well, at least you’re in
the right place for pooping yourself.
RESIDENT EVIL 2
An interesting fact about Racoon City Police
Department’s station house is that, back in 1998, it
didn’t have toilets. No, not one was featured in the
original Resident Evil 2. It was the ’90s, and things
were a lot more fun, but even the police didn’t just
crap out of the window, or relieve themselves out in
the streets whenever they felt like it. Perhaps they
nipped next door to McDonalds and used their toilets?
Whatever, when it came to this year’s excellent
reboot, Capcom fixed that heinous omission by giving
its cop shop toilets. Lots of them, and they’re all
absolutely terrifying. Especially if you see the Tyrant
come storming out of one. Yeah... we’d definitely give
that a minute.HITMAN
Agent 47 hangs around toilets like a bad smell after
a curry convention. That’s because in the Hitman
games, most often the best opportunity to get his
marks alone is to follow them into the seemingly safe
sanctuary that is a bog. Once inside said restroom,
and alone with his intended hit, the toilets provide
a corn-filled cornucopia of deadly possibilities for
the bald killer to cut his prey’s life prematurely short.
In the Paris mission of the 2016 Hitman reboot, we
rat-poisoned our target’s drink to make him sick and
then, once he’d run to the toilet to talk to god on the
big white telephone, we stuck his head down the pan
and drowned him in his own mess. He was a bad man,
so don’t waste any sympathy.More Xbox news at gamesradar.com/oxm THE OFFICIAL XBOX MAGAZINE 109extra