SILENT HILL 2
We’ve already noted that the humble toilet is just as dark, dingy and hellishly
dirty a setting as you’d find in any survival horror worth its salt. The isolated town
of Silent Hill has its share of creepy deserted buildings, such as the hospital.
Exploring its eerie corridors is an unhinging experience, especially when those
nurses turn up... you know the ones. Finding some dark, quiet toilets often feels
like refuge, but then that terrifying siren starts blaring, and the world shifts and
changes around you, and you’re no longer in a toilet. You are in The Othertoilet.
And there’s a mad bastard with a big blade and a head like a pyramid coming for
you. The first time we encountered this we literally went to the toilet in our pants.
GRAND THEFT AUTO V
Rockstar does fine details better than any other developer in the business, and
that includes the general state of Trevor’s sordid living space. From the seemingly
ancient slices of half-eaten pizza, to the empty beer bottles strewn across the
floor, to the general state of his sheets and other more indescribable grot to be
found in his trailer, it’s a palace fit for a king. A ’king slob. Unsurprisingly, the worst
room in his house of horrors is the toilet. If that porcelain throne has ever, ever,
been threatened with Toilet Duck, it probably got up and soundly kicked the ass
of whichever goddamn liberal had suggested cleaning it. Then used the cleaning
products to cut its meth with.
RED DEAD REDEMPTION II
Who needs an actual toilet when it’s 1898 and the
whole of the town of Valentine is one big, muddy
sheep dip? Not Arthur Morgan, that’s for sure. The
horses are constantly relieving themselves in the
town’s streets, so Arthur might as well, too. In the
game’s extraordinarily lengthy drunk scene, having
gone to the town’s saloon with comrade-in-arms
Lenny, got royally plastered on whiskey and beers,
and danced the Can-Can with the locals, Arthur
stumbles around the place looking for his friend in a
completely addled state for what seems like forever.
But the longest part of this boozy setpiece is Arthur’s
interminable wee out the back of the saloon. It just
goes on. And on. And on.DUKE NUKEM FOREVER
Always a standard feature of the Duke Nukem series,
3D Realms was putting working toilets into its
games before anyone else had dared to dream about
doing so. From the start, those games seemed to
understand that upon finding a bathroom, everyone
is going to go in there, check their reflection, then
stand at a urinal and have a good, long wee. Duke’s
last true outing was back in 2011, and it upped the
toilet gag to truly gag-worthy levels. For no good
reason (seriously, absolutely no good reason), when
faced with a toilet full of cubicles, Duke could scoop
poo out of the pan and throw it at the wall. The game
wasn’t terribly well received, but really, was there any
need for a dirty protest?110 THE OFFICIAL XBOX MAGAZINE
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