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Andrew tries to get back in the
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Sirena has a photo shoot for her
debut album cover but received a
botched color job.PREMIERES
The Fugitive (Quibi) Mike Ferro is
an innocent man on the run being
pursued by a d etermined detective.Sex Ne xt Door (Quibi) A look at the
personal and professional lives of
four young people working in the
sex industry.SPECIALS
31st Annual GLAAD Media
Awards (Logo at 8) The virtual
awards ceremony honors media for
accurate and inclusive
representations of LGBTQ people
and issues. Hosted by Gina
Yashere and Fortune Feimster.LATE NIGHT
Daily Show/Noah (Comedy
Central at 11) The Daily Social
Distancing Show.Tonight Show/F allon (NBC at
11:34) Common, Matisse Thybulle,
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Sean Penn, Jane Curtin, Thaddeus
Dixon.
— Nina ZafarMore at washingtonpost.com/
entertainment/tvTV HIGHLIGHTS
NETFLIX
Immigration Nation (Netflix) This six-part documentary series offers a
look at the processes, pitfalls and pain associated with immigration in the
United States.
proximity, making it increasingly
impossible to ignore how I feel
about her.
I don ’t know what to do or
what my next move should be.
When I go home, I’m reminded
of how great my fiancee is and I
feel guilty for this incredibleattraction to my colleague, but I
can’t help how I feel. This project
will be continuing on, and I am
worried I will say something to
make things awkw ard be tween
us, but I’m also worried that if I
don’t say anything I’ll always
wonder what might have been.What should I do?
— Speak Up or Forever Hold My
PeaceSpeak Up or Forever Hold My
Peace: Wait a minute. Your
possible to-do list is all about
what you say or don’t say or feelAdapted from an
online discussion.Dear Carolyn:
For the past year
I’ve been engaged
to a wonderful
woman who I’ve
known for over
three years. I’ve
recently developed strong
feelings for a younger colleague
who I started mentoring. She is
married and as far as I can tell
the marriage is okay. She is very
attractive, and I also find her
extremely intelligent and
engaging. We’re both introverts,
but interacting with her
refreshes me in a way I have not
experienced in a long time.
We have been working long
days together on a high-priority
project, and I get the impression
both of us are holding back
about our mutual attraction.
Sometimes I catch her looking at
me in a way that seems to
indicate she’s also thinking
about me all of the time. The
nature of our job requires that
we spend a lot of time in close
or don ’t feel about your
colleague — but your focus
belongs on your fiancee.
She can be great, brilliant,
Best in Planet and still not be
right for you.
Is that what is going on here?
Or, I should say, is that what your
attraction to your colleague is
trying to tell you?
Crushes happen, obviously,
and I could run testimonials all
day from people still happily
married who have endured
passing extramarital crushes,
even intense ones. So, you could
easily find yourself reading this a
year from now mystified that you
ever found this colleague
attractive.
But you ’re not married yet —
so I think you have an obligation,
to yourself and your fiancee, to
ask yourself if being so
“refreshed” by someone else
means you got engaged to the
wrong person — or just
prematurely, before you knew
what kind of connection to a
person was possible. Mentally
put your choice of life partner to
the challenge presented by thisnew information.
Do this without involving your
colleague or entertaining any
idea of being with her, because
she’s married. And there could
be legal/workplace
consequences. Plus, her glances
at you could just mean she’s
unnerved by your glances at her.
Regardless, pull back
immediately. She’s a n o.
So this rethink is not Fiancee
vs. Colleague, it’s about whether
you need to free yourself to find
elsewhere the kind of feelings
you now realize are possible — or
whether your imagination is
having itself a fling.
It’s also the right thing to do
for your fiancee, who we can
safely presume wants to be your
uncontested top choice. And
would rather know now, not five
years from now, if she isn’t.Write to Carolyn Hax at
[email protected]. Get her
column delivered to your inbox each
morning at wapo.st/haxpost. Join the discussion live at noon
Fridays at live.washingtonpost.comWorried about a workplace attraction? First focus on what’s going on at home.
Carolyn
Hax
NICK GALIFIANAKIS FOR THE WASHINGTON POST“thank you,” and “I’m so sorry, I
don’t speak your language.”
Finally, Miss Manners believes
in giving back in return for the
pleasure a place has given you.
For those just passing through, it
could be a donation to an
organization they have enjoyed,
such as a museum; for frequent
visitors, joining such a support
group.New Miss Manners columns are
posted Monday through Saturday on
washingtonpost.com/advice. You can
send questions to Miss Manners at
her website, missmanners.com. You
can also follow her
@RealMissManners.
© 2 020, by Judith Martin“Back Soon” sign on his door
rather than give up elucidating
matters to the tourist.)
This is more likely to work with
artisans than sellers of ordinary
souvenirs. Anyway, you probably
want to go home with something
that your stay-at-home friends
haven ’t found cheaper online.
Of course, knowing the
language is of inestimable help
for foreign travel. But aside from
Parisians who pr etend not to
under stand Americans’ high
school French, foreigners who
under stand English are generally
appreciative of even rudimentary
attempts at their native language.
At a minimum, one should
memorize the words for “please,”neglected the reading for a
college course but managed, the
night before the examination, to
cram in enough material to pass
ought to be able to pick up the
rudiments of history and culture
when tr aveling. Asking intelligent
questions is as flattering as asking
stupidly basic ones is annoying.
You can often strike up
conversations that way, and
talking to the local people is one
of the joys of travel. Miss Manners
knows of lifelong family
friendships that began with an
interesting question posed to a
shopkeeper or even a passerby —
interesting enough to require
retiring to a cafe for further
discussion. (The shopkeeper put ablocking them while taking
photog raphs of themselves.
The sel fie habit might be a
good place to start. Yes, yes, you
want to preserve the memory of
being in that lovely place. But
perhaps not at every step you
take. You don ’t look that different
blocking every site on your list.
And frankly, your friends are not
truly thrilled to see all this posted.
What irritates the locals is not
only having to walk around you
on their way to work or school. It
is knowing that it is not their
treasured wonders that interest
you; it is yourself, with those
merely serving as background.
It takes only a little homework
to counter that. Anyone whoawful people who come here, but
we feel free to grace someplace
else.
Miss Manners is not given to
bashing tourists. Considering
how she likes to travel, it would be
unbecoming. When others brag
of frequenting places “where
none of the tourists go,” she has to
resist saying, “Well, at least until
you got there.”
But she does admit that
touristic behavior could stand
some improvement. And she says
this in the interest of tourists
themselves — o urselves — as well
as those who are driven crazy by
trying to go through their
ordina ry routines while having to
dodge crowds of people blithelyThis summer’s
damper on
recre ational tr avel
gives us pause to
muse about
tourism itself.
There are those
of us who, much as
we cherish our
hometowns, are
yearning to be somewhere else —
revisiting another beloved place,
or just roaming around. Then
there are those who live at
popular destinations and have a
love-hate relationship with
tourists: love the money, hate the
crowds.
And some are in both those
cate gories: We can’t stand those
Don’t be the tourist constantly using cultural gems as social media backdrops
Miss
Manners
JUDITH
MARTIN,
NICHOLAS
MARTIN AND
JACOBINA
MARTIN
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