Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

up for the challenge—not two weeks into the relationship, not
two months after we’ve had sex, not two years after we’ve said
“I do” in front of the preacher and our respective families and
friends. Heck, we’ll take them while you’re standing there at
the bar, sipping on the peach martini we just bought you, so
long as you’re laying them out. Because now you’ve given us a
road map for how to conduct ourselves, especially if we’re truly
interested in a relationship with you.
Understand that this chapter is not a license for you to start
running down your list of “I can’ts” and “I won’ts” and “you
better not nevahs” as soon as a gentleman approaches you. We
do like some kind of decorum. You’ve got to finesse the situa-
tion—tell a man what you require without making it feel like
you’re ticking off a list of demands. It really is all in the deliv-
ery; if you tell him your requirements in the midst of conversa-
tion, and they sound attainable, and you shape your standards in
soft language, it’ll be easier for him to understand, and, more
important, act on them. Think about how crazy he’s going to
look at you if, finger wagging, you just come out your face and
say, “I will not tolerate a man who does not understand my role
as a mother—if you got a problem with my kids and the rest of
my family, you got a problem with me!” It’ll be the equivalent
of the needle scratching all the way across the record; he’s going
to think, at best, that you’re angry—at worst, you’re crazy, and
perhaps your family is, too. But imagine how he’ll feel if you
flip the script and say something pleasant like, “Oh, you know,