Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

If he’s got a plan, well great. Act like you’re superinter-
ested and ask follow-up questions—be the inquisitive, en-
thusiastic detective that you are. Men love to talk about
themselves. We do this because we know that in order to
catch you, we have to impress you. So allow us to impress.
The more inquisitive and interested you are, the more infor-
mation he’ll give you. Say things like, “Wow, how did you
get into that field?” or “How interesting—what does it take
to make that successful?” And listen carefully. The whole
time he’s talking, you should be evaluating whether he’s ac-
tually working hard to meet his goals or if he’s a lazy dreamer
just talking a whole lot of nonsense. You should also be fig-
uring out if you see yourself in that short-term plan; if you
know what his plan is, you can immediately assess if you
want to be part of it and what role you can play in it, or if
you need to remove yourself from that equation. For in-
stance, if he says, “I’m a technician for the cable company,
but I’m going to college at night to earn my B.A. in engi-
neering so that I can move up the ranks at my job,” then you
know this guy has a plan and he’s executing it. Maybe you
can even see yourself helping him study or being there for
him at graduation and giving him suggestions for how to
transform himself from the blue-collar worker who installs
the cable to the engineer who helps build the technology for
the cable company. The point is, he has a plan and he’s work-
ing toward it, which means that he’s trying to be the man he