We men are fully aware that we have to answer these ques-
tions, and any real man is going to answer them. You may not
necessarily like the answers, but he’s going to answer them. If
he refuses, then don’t bother with him. Don’t think that you’re
going to work it out later—that you’ll wait him out until he
gets more comfortable with you—because that would be noth-
ing more than blind hope. Before you know it, you’ll be find-
ing out the hard way that this isn’t the guy for you, and you’ll
be starting all the conversations with your girlfriends like this:
“You know, I slept with him and he’s not about anything, I
don’t even know if he likes kids... .” Don’t let this happen.
Empower yourself—it’s your right to know all of these answers
up front; per my ninety-day rule, which you’ll discover in the
next chapter, you need to ask these questions within the first
few months of a courtship.
If you’re already in a relationship with someone, these ques-
tions are still valid if you don’t know the answers. You can ask
them for clarification. Or you may need to ask them with the
hope that they’ll solidify what you may already know—either
that you need to get out of your relationship or that you are
headed in the right direction. His answers may help you cut
your losses, before you invest too many more years in a rela-
tionship that isn’t going the way you want it to go. Or they may
make you say, “Wow, I’m glad I’m with this man.”
Know, too, that though we’ll answer the questions because