Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

anytime soon. If I got a toothache—hell, if both of my front
teeth were loose and about to fall clean out of my mouth—there
wouldn’t be any dentist appointments for ninety days, because
Ford had already said I had to prove myself to the people who
signed the checks in order to get the extras—the perks.
It was a really simple equation: work hard, prove yourself,
get the benefits.
And guess what? It’s the same way with jobs in the govern-
ment, places like the post office, the DMV—and even in some
corporations. You have got to prove yourself to get the good
stuff, the extras, the benefits.
So if Ford and the government won’t give a man benefits
until he’s been on the job and proven himself, why, ladies, are
you passing out benefits to men before they’ve proven them-
selves worthy? Come on now, you know what the benefits are.
I’m not talking about being nice to him, or cooking for him, or
going out to dinner with him, or helping him pick out an outfit,
or bringing him around your mother. Those are things that
happen during the course of a budding relationship—you do
special things for each other because you care. By benefits, in
case you haven’t figured it out, I’m talking about sex. And if
you’re giving your benefits to a guy who’s only been on the job
for a week or two, you’re making a grave mistake.
You don’t know this man—not much about him, anyway.
He doesn’t know you.
He hasn’t proven himself.